The Shonda Rhimes Eminem Collaboration We Would Kill To See On TV

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Shonda Rhimes may not seem comparable to the seedy, dirty, vulgar reputation of Eminem, but they have a very strong common denominator. They just can’t seem to stop interjecting death in unnecessary and uncalled for places.

Any fan of any of Shonda’s hit tv shows (Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder) is familiar with the glaring pain of watching a character die for no real reason, other than what can only be assumed as Shonda’s sadistic gratification of putting millions of people in pain. Eminem, on the other hand, just seems to have no other creative fuel than imagining murdering people he has had sex with, or wanted to have sex with. (Nods to Mariah Carey, apologetically.)

His verse on the Weeknd’s “The Hills” felt almost as if he was misinformed on the subject of the song. Someone should have stopped him while he was in the studio and said “Hey Eminem, this is about The Weeknd having sex with Ariana Grande while she was still dating Big Sean. It’s not the soundtrack for a reboot of American Psycho.” Eminem thought the most fitting lyrics to feature on this song were “But tonight we don’t need those pills, just the effects of each other/ But we gon’ film cause I will want your ex to see / (Get it?) that…”

Even when the man isn’t talking about blatant murder he wants to film wild sex tapes to send to ex boyfriends. For those of you keeping up with Scandal, that is exactly the method Shonda has employed to create leverage for a character.

Other songs have more extreme examples. On his song “Kill You” Eminem raps “Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore / ’til the vocal cords don’t work in her throat no more?!” Sure, the song is called “Kill You” — some violence is to be expected. But I don’t want to waste my word count citing everytime Eminem vocalized his desire to kill someone. For those of you watching How To Get Away With Murder you are probably beginning to wonder why Eminem hasn’t been featured on the soundtrack yet.

This is why it would be in Shonda’s best interest to connect with her evil soul sister Eminem, and write a TV show based off of his rap lyrics. She just wants to write a show where seemingly every plotline involves killing people off and creating as much emotional stress for the viewer as possible. Eminem can’t seem to rap about anything but his murder fantasies.

Our solution? A Shonda-Eminem collab, where they meld their two genres into one beautiful, bloody primetime spot. Em will get his original soundtrack (called Killer Fantasies), and Shonda can craft stories and character arcs out of the completely ridiculous shit that her counterpart raps.

With fewer younger viewers tuning in this fall, this inter-genre effort could, potentially, save television. If it’s a flop? No problem — take a cue from our two stars and just kill it off.

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