The Absolutely Correct Ranking of Chex Mix Components

If you like the breadstick the most, you’re probably a Kat Dennings fan.

One of the most indisputably wonderful snacks of all time, traditional Chex Mix is like an unexpected but welcomed hug after a long day. It is a delightful savory kiss on the cheek from a distant relative. It’s beautifully familiar but spontaneous and sexy when it wants to be. Most importantly, however Chex Mix meets all the criteria for savory snack superiority: texture, crunch, and saltiness.

The breakdown of these criteria is relatively straightforward. Texture pertains to the grain of the snack. Which direction is the grain? How does it feel compared to other snacks you’ve consumed? How does it match up against the other textures within the snack? Second, we have crunch. Does the snack give in to even the slightest pressure? Is that a good or bad thing? Is it more of a crispy snack or a crunchy snack? How loudly must I chew, on a scale of 1–10, to best enjoy the snack? Lastly, is saltiness. Some snacks are far too salty, leaving residue on your fingers immediately after each handful. Does your mouth feel dry? Can you physically feel the salt entering your body, or does the snack feel balanced in its flavors? Are there other spices beyond salt? Are these even yummy?

Based on this snack metric, the one true order of Chex Mix pieces is as follows:

6. Circle Pretzel
After a heated discussion about hard pretzel architecture, I have come to understand that the circle pretzel is irrefutably the worst component of Chex Mix. The texture is one-dimensional, with a smooth and boring hard pretzel shine. There isn’t even additional grain from coarse salt. In terms of crunch, the circle pretzel falls flat. There’s always a bit of squish before breaking into the bready center of a hard pretzel, which could not possibly compete against the remaining pieces in Chex Mix. It also has the lowest surface area (probably) compared to the other Mix components, therefore retaining the least flavor on its exterior and is undeniably, the least interesting.

5. Window (Square) Pretzel
The window pretzel is only marginally better than the circle, given that it has a more compelling shape. The cross in the center creates a bit of diversity in texture, while also retaining the silky smooth hard pretzel feel. Beyond this, it has the same weird pre-crunch hard pretzel squish, and general lack of exterior flavor absorption. I usually skip on the Chex Mix pretzels, and you should too.

4. Breadsticks
I feel as good about the Chex Mix breadstick, as I do about Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spiderman. It’s boring white flour molded into an interesting shape. It may look pretty, but that’s about all it has to offer. The breadstick shape is wonderful to look at, but feels like you’re eating three Skittles that have melted together in one go. There is a terrifying smoothness to the exterior of the breadstick, with basically nothing exciting or different to the snack except the roundness of the breadstick curves. It is crunchy, but absurdly dry, absorbing any trace of moisture that may have ever resided in your mouth. It manages to maintain the saltiness of Chex Mix, as it tucks salt into crevices of its weird skewer shape. It’s far better than the pretzels, but can’t make top three.

3. Corn Chex
The light crunch of Chex is what gives this snack its edge, creating a huge range of texture experiences in a single bag. Corn Chex has a wonderful texture, with tiny grains you can feel as you chew. It’s snappy and almost crispy, giving in the smallest amount of pressure. As a result, theres always an inordinate about of Chex crumbles at the bottom of every bag. This is where Corn Chex is superior. It tastes best in small pieces, but as a whole Chex, lacks flavor depth in comparison to Wheat Chex.

2. Wheat Chex
The flavor profile of Wheat Chex is what makes this snack the runner up in this comprehensive list. It is superior to Corn Chex only in terms of flavor, adding a light breadiness that corn flour cannot offer. The wheat flour dampens the saltiness of Chex Mix just right, brightening the salts and spices perfectly. The complexity of corn flour in Corn Chex can be overwhelming occasionally, creating unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) flavors. The consistency of Wheat Chex are what make it nearly, the perfect snack.

1. Rye Cracker

Ah, the rye cracker. The most beautiful element of any bag of Chex Mix. Rare in appearance but always welcome, the rye cracker has a beautiful color and grain texture. Its fine grains make the cracker feel like a Wheat Thin or Saltine, but is thin enough to create a delicate snappiness that surpasses the two. None of the snacks in Chex Mix have this same bite, that challenges you to be the best version of yourself every time you chew. Its flat faces soak up all the flavors of Chex Mix, all highlighted by a hearty rye flavor. The rye cracker is only part of Chex Mix worthy of being sold individually.