Port Authority To Receive Makeover, Possibly Lose Craphole Status

By Kate Fustich

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Though New York City has emerged from its rough and checkered past, there remains one beacon of rodents that really takes you back to the old days. The 65 year-old Port Authority Bus Terminal should be right up there on Trip Advisor’s list of things to see if you’re looking for the real, local NYC experience.

Now, everyone’s favorite grime-covered brick cave is getting a multibillion-dollar redesign. Last Thursday, a plan was approved to fully replace the beyond-repair bus station. The new terminal will move only one block west of its current location at 42nd Street and 8th Avenue.

Though the final makeover is set to cost anywhere between $7 and $10 billion, officials believe more than two-thirds of that cost will be offset from the sale of the current location. Though, frankly, I am not sure who has enough money and time to ever make the literal “Mouth Of Hell” into a condo or Urban Outfitters.

The final design of the new Port Authority Terminal will actually be chosen from an international competition, with the winner to be announced in September 2016. Though I am no architect, I have a few ideas for how the new station.

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Please include more neon signs that look like they are leftover props from the “Hotling Bling” video
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Please remove this mural and any other remnants of 80’s NYC. We can watch The Warriors if we want to see things like this.

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Consider some form of digital displays. This is worse than the bulletin board at The Bean. Am I visiting my grandma or is Dan Smith teaching me guitar? Who knows!
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Please remove all psychedelic Rasputins from the premises.
Consider transforming this RadioShack carcass into the 5th Au Bon Pain in the place. The people demand their Pain au Chocolat!
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Despite all other changes, please keep this post office. This is the shortest line I’ve ever seen in any USPS facility.

[Images via Kate Fustich/NYU Local]

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