NYU Mixology: What You Should Order This Week
By Ava Kiai
Here at NYU Local, our love-hate relationship towards NYU runs deep. From freshman residence halls that disgusted us with their nasty carpeted floors, to an absurdly overcrowded Bobst, we have found that however campus-deprived we may be, it soon becomes evident that all NYU students share some of the same pains and joys. Freshmen dream of living in Gramercy, upperclassmen teach some nasty expletives to kids in Brooklyn upon the realization that the L is, once again, not running.
In the spirit of community, kinship, and deplorable elitist exclusivity, we present to you NYU Mixology: drinks about as weird as this school is. So raise your glass (or Solo cup) to all that makes this place so memorable and responsibly-ish enjoy some of these drinks.
The Weinstein: Manischewitz and vodka; serve in a red Solo cup.
The Gramercy Green: Absinthe and ginger ale (as living in a place that nice in Manhattan really is a hallucination).
The Hayden: Bailey’s and Kahlua with coffee liqueur; top with whipped cream and sprinkle with crumbled fresh baked cookies.
The Coles: Vodka and Muscle Milk; enjoy in between sets.
The Kimmel: Sriracha, soy sauce, and vodka (from the ex-con staffer’s flask); blend with ice and serve over Yolato in a martini glass, garnish with orange peel.
The Bobst: Three Wise Men; serve on the rocks, enjoy during midterms and finals only.
The NYU Poly: We’re not exactly sure what it is.
The LSP: Lime-Salt-Patron; repeat daily until you get into a real college.
The Gallatin: Mix whatever you want, name it after yourself, feel original and special.
The Sternie: Makers; serve on the rocks, enjoy while Draping.
JSex on the Beach: Vodka, grape Schnapps, pomegranate juice, grape juice; serve in a chilled glass and enjoy as you overlook Washington Square Park from your office.
The Resident Assistant: any form of booze followed by water and repeat; check BAC card every third repetition.
The Abu Dhabi: Fermented camel milk; allow sand to settle before enjoying.
The Buster Bluth: Franzia; serve out of box, enjoy from a straw.
The Native New Yorker: Georgi and pomergranate juice; serve with cocaine-rimmed glass and a dash of pretension.
The Brooklynite (aka Williamsburg/Bushwick Throwdown): Pabst; serve lukewarm and enjoy on the L train.
Concrete Jungle Juice: Rum, Vodka, Tequila and Whiskey mixed with orange, cranberry, apple, and grape juice.
The L Train: We’re sorry, that drink is not being served this weekend.
The Wellness Exchange: tequila; served with chili powder (to clear up those sinuses).
The NYU Sugar Daddy: Johnnie Walker Blue Label; serve on the rocks in a crushed-Viagra-rimmed glass, garnish with shame and herpes.
The Hayden Club Girl: Svedka; serve straight in a red Solo cup.
The Nostalgia: Four Loko and Five Hour Energy; enjoy by double fisting the two bottles or mix and serve from a reused plastic water bottle.
The Timekeeper: Pilsner; chug precisely three minutes before your 9:30 class.
The Fightin’ Violet: Welch’s Purple Drank and Codeine; serve with or without your roommate’s prescription Adderall, crushed and garnished to taste.
The Midterm Cram: Vodka and Red Bull; serve in crushed-adderall-rimmed glass, supplement with Five Hour Energy.
The CHOICES Floor: Smirnoff Ice; serve in a reused Snapple bottle, drink shadily and with an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
The Sprouse Twins: Sam Adams Blonde Ale; enjoy double fisted.
The Washington Square Park: Rolling Rock; enjoy out of a paper bag on an unusually warm day in March.
