Kill Your Bed Bugs Before They Kill You
This year was my scariest Halloween yet: My roommate found a bed bug on the wall.
More than three weeks later, I’m still reeling from the whole experience and currently living with everything I own in sealed plastic bags. I learned that there’s almost nothing you can do to avoid bed bugs. They’re vicious and adventurous and can jump on your coat from the person next to you on the subway or attach onto your sweater after hanging out on a friend’s couch.
I also learned that the process of getting rid of bed bugs is daunting and overwhelming and leaves you feeling very, very alone. Should you ever get bed bugs, heaven help you, NYU Local is here to help you feel a little less terrible with advice from those of us who have lived through this.
There are a few signs of bed bugs, which get super gross if you Google them. Mostly, keep an eye out for bites — they look a lot like mosquito bites — and above all, keep an eye out for the bugs themselves. For some reason, I imagined that they were microscopic, but they’re actually not. Flip your mattress and see if you can see the bugs.
If you want to really scare your management, use a piece of tape to catch a bug and put it on a piece of paper for very quick proof of your infestation.
First off, your building should pay for exterminators. “Our exterminator brought a little dog to sniff out the bugs, which was delightful,” said Local editor in chief Kelly Weill. “The rest of the process is hell. You should wash all the fabrics in your apartment in very hot water.”
As with most things in the social media age, everyone has an opinion on how to get rid of them and they’re sure their opinion is the only right one, as Weill experienced: “Some people claim that only dry-cleaning will kill the little fuckers, but that can get pricey. Just run your clothes/sheets/pillowcases a few times on the hot cycle.”
Unfortunately, for city writer Emily Roche, the hot cycle washing process was half the problem: “When you go to the laundromat to dry everything you own on high heat, everyone in the laundromat will know what you’re up to and will regard you with according apprehension, pity, and disgust. The worst thing about bed bugs is the stigma and you just have to get through it.”
Weill fired back about the stigma of bed bugs. “It’s so dumb,” she said. “BEDBUGS DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, anyway it was our neighbors who had the infestation, we just got some stray bugs, we weren’t the problem!!”
Which is so true. In my own experience, the most comforting thing was after I posted on Facebook asking for any advice on how to kill these horrible bugs, because I realized that bed bugs, although debilitating and miserable, happen to everyone. You’re not gross and it’s probably not just bad karma.
The one tip I personally have for you: mothballs. You have to wash all your clothes and vacuum your whole room, but for the stuff you can’t throw in the washing machine, mothballs are the way to go. They definitely have a smell, but throw your shoes and books and purses into a trash bag with a couple mothballs and seal it up with packing tape and the grandma smell will kill everything in its path.
On top of mothballs, Weill also recommends having a good friend. “You’ll also want at least one super-loyal friend who will let you sleep at their place while the exterminators spray toxic fumes everywhere,” she said. “After it’s safe to move back in, buy some anti-bug cases for your bed. They’re pretty cheap and they supposedly prevent bugs from getting back into the mattress.”
“Your physical bed bugs will eventually go away, but your emotional bed bugs will live in the mattress of your subconscious forever,” Roche said. “Having had bed bugs is a life experience that will forever connect you to anyone else who has ever had bedbugs. You will come out of it stronger, deadlier, and very exhausted and broke.”
Good luck.
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