I’m Tired of Talking About What it’s Like to be a Student Right Now
Yes, it sucks. No, I don’t want to talk about it.
Everyone attending college right now knows the feeling: you’re in the middle of a conversation with an older person and casually mention that you’re in school. Suddenly, you notice their eyes go wide, their mouth makes that big cartoon O-shape, and they can’t help but implore about the Covid-era collegiate experience with an, “oh my god, what’s that even like?” They might follow up the question with a quick, “I bet it’s so hard” or a pained “I can’t even imagine,” before silently pressing you to share your experience with them, hungry to hear you soliloquize about the hardships of Zoom university and about how you are — or aren’t — managing to hold it together in these tough times.
As much as exchanges like these are innocent and well-intentioned, I imagine that most of my fellow students would agree that it’s tiring at this point. Not only does it get frustrating having to answer the same questions over and over again, but there is something minimizing about being expected to so readily make small-talk about the surreal and, quite frankly, mentally draining college experience of today. It’s almost belittling, having to vent about our discomforts politely in a way that makes the adults in our lives feel comfortable. There’s nothing normal about it, so why should we be expected to discuss it with such an assumed normalcy?
The reality of the situation — of the half-digital, plague-infused era we’ve come to know as “the now,” or worse as “the new normal” — is that, as college students, we are being forced to stare down the barrel of a casual dystopia every day, every time we login to attend our classes, during every screen-recorded lecture or break-out room group activity. Not only that, but we’re being asked to talk about it constantly, to capture the zeitgeist of young adult America at the drop of a hat, when we whip out our student IDs for a discount at the corner store check-out only to be met with yet another, “wow, you guys are really missing out on the normal college experience, huh?”
What makes it all the more hard to swallow is the simple fact that there is no end in sight. As long as Covid continues, so too will the exhausting humdrum of online college, along with the isolation it brings and the countless stream of good-faith but still invasive elders trying to get insight into what it’s like to be a college student in an age when most colleges have shut down. As difficult as it can be to refuse to answer a well-meaning question, it might be the healthiest option. It’s simply unsustainable to be forced to dwell on your discomfort every time you’re trying to buy a bag of bagels or hoping to find escapism in the comfort of a conversation without being asked hard or overtly topical questions.
At the end of the day, we don’t owe anyone our frustrations, nor do we owe them a neatly packed and digestible take on the hardships we’re facing. College is hard enough without having to find new ways to sum up exactly why it’s so hard right now, especially when the weekly grind of classes, classwork, and frantic cramming sessions doesn’t offer students so much as a moment to reflect on it all from a comfortable distance. Maybe it’s cynical to refuse to talk about it anymore, or maybe it’s just survival. Either way, the next time I see a college grad of yesteryear furrow their eyebrows together in mock-apology before asking me if I really think it’s possible to have a meaningful college experience right now, I’m not offering anything beyond a disinterested “I don’t know” or a simple “I don’t want to talk about it.” If they’re not satisfied with that, then they can simply find a college to apply to and find out what it’s like for themselves.
Disclaimer: This stream-of-conscious slurry of a rant was written prior to the vaccination roll-outs. The author acknowledges that the end is a little bit more in sight now, and is overall a less angry person. At least for now.
