How Do I Get NYU to Name Something After Me?

“The NYU Local School of Blogging”

Everyday, we walk into buildings and attend schools whose names have taken on definitions of their own. “Stern” isn’t the name of an esteemed businessman and alum. It’s the sound the gates of hell make as they open. Bobst is the physical embodiment of stress — not the surname of a rich anti-Semite. Being immortalized as an NYU building doesn’t sound half bad. Maybe one day my name will strike fear into little freshmen hearts.

So, I looked up how other people did it.

• Be successful and donate a lot of money.

It helps if you’ve attended the university at some point, but if you’ve got a bunch of cash lying around, NYU will take it. Kenneth Langone (whose name you might recognize from the NYU medical center) first donated $6.5 million dollars to NYU Stern School of Business’s night program. Then, they changed the name to the “Langone Program.”

Don’t worry if you didn’t attended NYU, the school will still take your money. Chandrika Tandon and her husband, Ranjan, donated $100 million to what is now NYU’s Tandon (formerly Polytechnic) School of Engineering. Chandrika is actually on the NYU Board of Trustees, the Board of Overseers at Stern, and leads the NYU President’s Global Council. Also, she was nominated for a Grammy! She’s one accomplished lady and deserves to see a college bear her namesake.

• Be successful and teach here.

The Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute bears the name of the man who founded the New York Observer. He also taught both philosophy and journalism at NYU as an adjunct professor. Plus, ever wondered where the art in 20 Cooper Square came from? He painted it!

Likewise, NYU Steinhardt’s Constantine Georgiou Library for Children and Literature is named for a late NYU professor and scholar.

• Be successful and donate a normal amount of money!

“Normal” is relative. If none of the above options seem like your speed, there’s another way. NYU makes it real easy for anyone to donate money to the school. You can contact them to make a donation and, in return, have a chair, hall, building, or scholarship named after you. The prices are not indicated on the website, but we’re sure it ain’t cheap.

On the bright side, you can even name something after a loved one. Nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day” like a seat in Skirball. Am I right?

Every single one of the people who gave their name to NYU has seen a lot of success in their field. It means so much that they want to donate to the next generation. Since so many of them went to NYU, you should feel inspired to do just as well as them. Then, kick it on back to the little people.

Still, no matter how much credit you owe to the institution for your eventual wealth, there are hundreds of other worthy causes to donate millions to. Providing help to those that really need it will be well worth giving up a building facade with your name on it.