Day 1: Jekima Appreciates Woke Comedy

By NYU Local Staff

Every day this week, we’re bringing you diaries from some of NYU’s brand spankin’ new Class of 2020. Click here to meet our diarists, read up on what you’ve missed so far, and check back on NYU Local every day this Welcome Week to make sure they all make it out in one piece.


7:00 AM — My marimba alarm sounds but I shut that down in .7 seconds.

7:30 AM — My two roommates and I slowly crawl out of bed, forcing ourselves to get ready for our cohort/group meetings about stuff that could’ve probably been sent in an email.

8:15 AM — We head to Downstein for breakfast and struggle to locate the cream cheese for our bagels. I get orange juice that comes out a pastel yellow color and tastes like chemicals in a cup. I throw it away.

9:00 AM — I arrive at Skirball for the Steinhardt Dean’s Welcome, and a line is wrapping around the block. When I get inside, I am directed to the front with the other performance majors.

9:45 AM — I initiate forced small talk to seem more approachable.

10:30 AM — The dean welcomes us and gives us a spiel about working hard and how awesome Steinhardt is. A girl then comes out with a guitar and a string bow and starts going to town on the guitar. She’s beating on it whilst plucking it laying down. Very Conner Youngblood-esque.

11:00 AM — Everyone is Steinhardt divies up into their majors. The performance kids hurry upstairs to meet advisement coordinator Dr. Paul Horan who is actually pretty funny and gives amazing advice being a musician in the city and at NYU.

12:00 PM — The musician fam and I head to Upstein for lunch. Chick fil A. You already know what’s up.

1:30 PM — My very adorable RA tries her best to rally the floor together so we can move out to the President’s Welcome at MSG but we end up loosing her and we scan through the wrong station.

2:15 PM — Row 10 of MSG. Pumped.

3:00 PM — The sound of bagpipes fills the hall. The Deans and President come down the aisle in extravagant robes.

3:30 PM — Dean of Admissions, Shawn Abbott, throws major shade at Columbia, criticizing their gates and fences and their snobbish attitudes.

4:00 PM — The NYU President makes solid attempts to be funny but some his jokes were not sticking. He does like Beyonce, which is a plus. Everyone couldn’t stop laughing about how he proclaimed that “size matters” for about five minutes.

5:30 PM — Two of my floormates and I navigate ourselves back home using Citymapper. (Get that app. It actually saves lives.)

7:00 PM — I meet up with one of my friends from a group chat I was in. We grab sushi at some low-key place. Pretty chill.

8:30 PM — Take a quick nap. Gotta work them in strategically this week.

9:45 PM — Head over to the comedy show with a friend. The line, again, is incredibly long.

10:30 PM — Hari Kondabolu is hilarious. Very como se dice “woke.” He said things like “They say immigrants are not contributing to our economy but since when do we place the value of people on economic value?”

12:30 AM — I scroll through social media before going to sleep. My roommates are out turning up. I am lame.

[photo via]

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