Chick-Fil-A Express Needs to Add the Spicy Chicken Sandwich to its Menu

This may be the *spiciest* take of all time

Look how beautiful that is!! C’mon!!!

We already know Upstein is the best dining hall, solely because it has Chick-Fil-A Express. Even Tyler the Creator swung by to get a taste. But he was slighted by Chick-Fil-A’s delusion that people are satisfied with only chicken nuggets and the regular chicken sandwich.

Before I delve into why the Spicy Chicken Sandwich is a must, let me just say that Chick-Fil-A’s politics are Objectively Badand disgusting. But because there is no such thing as ethical consumption under late stage capitalism, we might as well talk about improving our current options.

I have sung the praises of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich before (and will until I die), but long story short: it’s the best item on the menu. The Spicy Chicken Sandwich is hearty and has the perfect amount of heat. It’s absolutely delightful when you get it with pepper jack cheese and tomatoes.

And it’s a DISGRACE — perhaps even a crime against humanity — that it’s not on the Chick-Fil-A Express menu. Listen, I get it. It’s Express. You’re supposed to have limited items. But no one is fawning over Chick-Fil-A’s various salads, grilled chicken nuggets or soups.

On the other hand, the Spicy Chicken Sandwich has been a staple for seven years. It paved the way for the Spicy Chicken Biscuit, which was a fan favorite (it was removed from the menu for a “healthier” sandwich or whatever, and people were pissed). Currently, two new items — the Spicy Chick-n-Strips and the Grilled Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich — are being test-run in a multitude of different states. What inspired that? The success of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

Also, let us not forget that Upstein’s Chick-Fil-A Express is one of the only Chick-Fil-As in Manhattan. Chick-Fil-A is not exactly an accessible fast food chain. Imagine how many people who have never tried Chick-Fil-A who can only pick from the most boring items on the menu. That’s a damn shame.

While I’m not an economist or anything, I’m pretty sure there is nothing to lose if Chick-Fil-A Express added the Spicy Chicken Sandwich to its menu. Pros include: increased traffic to Upstein, boosted brand affinity and my undying appreciation. Cons: none???

Your move, Upstein.