NYU Local Presents: A Collection Of Violet-Themed Haikus

Last weekend, the New York Times published a piece featuring dozens of haikus submitted by readers about their lives in New York City. While many of the poems were also true to the NYU experience, we at NYU Local decided to craft our own collection to describe our time–long or short–at the school we call home.

Ranging from worries about jobs and internships to odes to beer, weed, and NYU wifi, the following haikus represent something of a snapshot of the staff’s experiences. Read on to find out what we think about the most. (Hint: it’s more than just classes.)

Four years, big debt, and
all I have to show for it
is this dumb haiku.
- Egle Makaraite, Photo

Dining hall food spans
nations, time zones, climates, but
I want a hot dog.
- Helen Holmes, Entertainment Editor

I got food poison
will not make it in to class
sent from my iPhone.
- Jorge Morillo, Multimedia Editor

 All day we intern,
then we hurry off to class.
Where is the beer pong?
- Sophie Kleeman, On-Campus Editor

A 6 a.m. fire drill
celebrating my all-nighter.
NYU Housing loves finals.
- Leora Rosenberg, On-Campus

My sink is full of
bong water and some egg shells.
That’s gross. Sorry, Mom.
- Caleb Savage, Photo

So very sleepy,
Trader Joes so busy, damn,
Refrigerator.
- Peter Slattery, Entertainment

Fuck sophomores. Their
Sexual experiment,
Beer, and silliness.
- Connor Durkin, On-Campus

Oh, senioritis
fuck homework fuck the real world
BFA in farts.
- Jorge Morillo

New York ‘frat parties’
held in Alphabet City,
“Dude, were those queludes?”
- Maegan Vazquez, National Editor

Apartment party,
40s, and the same Drake song,
I swear I’ll transfer.
- Julia Musto, Multimedia

It sucks grandma died,
but if she hadn’t croaked, I’d
be at a state school.
- Dana Daniels, City

Beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer
- Claire Voon, City Editor

Don’t hug me, J-Sex.
If you do, I cannot be
Held responsible.
- Ben Miller, National

Just got back from class
Roommate is masturbating
Need a new roommate.
- Vince Kiernan, On-Campus

Now remembering
how the admin packet looked
It seemed far away.
- Ben Miller

Your, you’re, and you are
In theory I edit things
Still can’t explain “its”
- Maegan Vazquez

My uncle dropped me
on my head when I was seven:
Ed board, WSN.
- Ben Miller

NYU wifi
can go fuck itself—I need
to watch my shows, man.
- David Zumwalt, City

Do people try to
pee on toilet seats in Bobst,
or are they just dicks?
- Dana Daniels, City

I am a freshman
everything is confusing
what is happening?
– Kyla Bills, Entertainment

It’s Meatless Monday,
worst day of the fucking week
I just want chicken.
- Vince Kiernan

Gallatin school for
probably going to live
in a furnished box.
- Julia Berke, Photo Editor

NYU Local
in a summary: Brad’s Brad’s
Lucy’s Lucy’s Lucy’s
– Julia Musto

Weed weed weed weed weed
Weed weed weed weed weed weed weed
Weed weed weed weed weed
- Claire Voon

Oh, you’re in Stern? I’m
majoring in halal and
getting blackout drunk.
- David Zumwalt

Freshman at Upstein
walked into kosher dining
sat down with a ham sandwich.

I got kicked out fast
I did not know the rules there
I never been back.
- Peter Slattery

Went to Times Square. Got
angry at pedestrians.
Ate cupcakes. Then left.
- Kyla Bills

Adderall. Adder-
all. Adderall. Adderall.
Adderall-nighter
- Dana Daniels

I thought coming here
would make me more hip, but now
I’m just pretentious.
- David Zumwalt

Hello employers,
If you are reading this poem
please give me a job.
- Kelly Weill, City Editor

Hello, Kelly! We
regret to inform you that
we are not hiring.

Please accept deepest
sympathies; it’s not you, it’s
the economy.
- David Zumwalt 

David, you may not
be hiring, but will you
take unpaid interns?
- Julia Berke

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    3 Comments

  1. says

    THE WAY YOU ENDED THIS EFFING POST IS BRILLIANT AND NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU ENDED WITH ONE OF MY HAIKUS. THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING THAT HAS EVERY BEEN POSTED ON NYU LOCAL HANDS DOWN 2014