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/ January 30, 2014
BREAKING: Parents Rent NYU Student An Expensive Apartment

Dorm life cramping your style? Dummy! Everyone knows that the only way to be happy is to pay more.

At least that’s what NYU junior Vanessa Csordas-Jenkins did. In a bizarre New York Times article, Csordas-Jenkins describes her move from the Broome Street dorm and its unsightly “ventilation gaps” to a more livable $2,100/month apartment of her very own on Union Square.

“It was impossible for me to live comfortably in that situation,” Csordas-Jenkins says of Broome, the roomy SoHo dorm. She wished she had “checked the box that said are you willing to pay more, because I need to be a healthy person.”

Her chief complaint was noise. “Earplugs combined with a white-noise machine were not enough” to secure a restful sleep for the junior who, like her former roommates, chose to attend college in one the world’s largest, noisiest cities.

Will Csordas-Jenkins find happiness in her new $2,100 crib? What the hell is a white-noise machine? Are New York Times readers mocking NYU students for our near-cartoonish privilege? So many questions!

The New York Times has never contacted me about my apartment hunting process, likely because my shopping strategy is little more than a Google search for “mini-storage units large enough for my body”. Fortunately the Times walks us through every step of Csordas-Jenkins’ search as she scopes out potential pads.

First there was the Sullivan Street studio, a $1,795 a month, a ground-floor apartment which Csordas-Jenkins’s realtor dismissed for being too dark. “I do think it depresses people when they don’t have enough sunshine coming in,” she told the Times.“They say: ‘I should have just waited it out or gone a couple of flights higher for the sunshine.’”

An uncanny observation, as we have heard many students lament not holding out for that penthouse room warmly lit by the morning sun.

The second apartment was a $1,950 room on 25th and 2nd — too far away. “It seemed like the potential for a really stressful situation for me if I woke up late and had to wait for the train,” the theater major said. Because ugh, taking the train.

But fortunately, dreams come true, and the third apartment fit juuuust right. Csordas-Jenkins’ parents agreed to sign the lease on a $2,100 apartment in Union Square, near NYU dorms Carlyle Court, Third North, U-Hall, and Palladium. With the help of a rented Zipcar “so Vanessa wouldn’t have to go back and forth in a taxi,” Csordas-Jenkins was all moved in.

Hopefully she and her former roommates will all sleep a little easier now.

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