The fateful week is upon us. Finals are here.
At the beginning of the semester, hopes and dreams inspired you. You were going to do everything different this time around. Go to class. Take notes. Be sober. But once the professor stopped explaining the syllabus, those bullshit aspirations fell to the wayside.
We understand distractions popped up, stopping you from paying attention. In fact, we’ll accept some responsibility for your procrastination. We encouraged you to marathon entire series on Netflix, to get a bit frisky on campus and to innovate. Inspired you to drink and then drink some more. Yet, we are not sorry. These experiences provided valuable life lessons not taught in the normal classroom.
But now it’s time to buckle down champ. Seriously, don’t be distracted by any of these links back to our amazing, hilarious, newsworthy posts. It’s time to campout in Bobst. Don’t worry about finding a summer job, partying, or bettering your love life. Don’t Google puppies, lolz-worthy videos and pornography. Stop playing with your phone, computer and dingdong. It’s time to study!
Run along now and perfect that presentation! Write that essay! Graduate god damn it! From freshmen to seniors, we’re all in this together. No matter how hard the next week is, remember: we love you. If it’s all too much, just take a rest or hug it out. You will do great and the summer will be here soon enough.
Best of luck kiddos!