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/ May 7, 2013
The Weirdest Tweets From NYU Creative Writing Professors

NYU’s creative writing program is one of the most distinguished in the country. Professors ranging from bestseller Jonathan Safran Foer  to 2013 Pullitzer-winner Sharon Olds workshop stories and poems from hundreds of undergrads and MFA students every semester. With such a powerhouse of talent teaching in the program, it’s no surprise that many have taken to one of the most popular writing platforms of our time: Twitter.

Surely you’re aware that Twitter is for more than Modern Seinfeld gags and RTs to take down #KONY2012 (That was his name, right?); “the tweet,” as n+1 recently put it, ” is a literary form of Oulipian arbitrariness, and the straitjacket of the form has determined the schizophrenia of the content. A tweet is so short that you can get right to the point — but so short, also, that why should it have one?”

The professors of NYU’s Creative Writing Program have taken this missive to heart, and have tickled our Twitter feathers by Tweeting fragments far more strange and interesting than an alert about their upcoming readings. Here are our favorite weird Tweets from NYU’S Creative Writing Professors.

Eileen Myles
Myles teaches an advanced undergrad poetry workshop. The New York poet has published several volumes of poetry over the past three decades, and has received a Guggenheim fellowship. Her Twitter is also hilarious:

What if all poets spontaneously transitioned into clowns.

— Eileen Myles (@EileenMyles) January 26, 2013

 

Don’t think I should fart in the security line.

— Eileen Myles (@EileenMyles) February 20, 2013

 

I love chugging coffee. It’s so fucked up.

— Eileen Myles (@EileenMyles) March 27, 2013

 

I’ve lived here for years I’m just high. twitter.com/EileenMyles/st…

— Eileen Myles (@EileenMyles) April 7, 2013

 

I meant to tweet about still using Romney poop bags but I forgot to.

— Eileen Myles (@EileenMyles) April 18, 2013

 

Charles Simic
Simic is one of the CWP’s distinguished poets in residence. Someone has set up what looks like a parody account at @CharlesSimic1 which is well-populated with Tweets. The apparent official account, @CharlesSimic has only one tweet, and reveals this minor personal detail with poetic brevity:

twisted my ankle this morning

— Charles Simic (@CharlieSimic) June 26, 2010

 

Rachel Zucker
A poet, Zucker, graduated from the prestigious Iowa Writer’s Workshop and now teaches poetry to undergrad and graduate students at NYU. She posts frequently about the ups and downs of family life with young kids, and the insanity that comes along with it:

The family that glues together, sticks together. #IllBeHereAllWeek

— Rachel Zucker (@rachzuck) January 15, 2013

 

I’m so happy/sad. They have my favorite mustard at Fairway. Cheaper than Paris. twitter.com/rachzuck/statu…

— Rachel Zucker (@rachzuck) March 23, 2013

 

I should have married a Notary.

— Rachel Zucker (@rachzuck) April 2, 2013

 

Two loads of laundry, one pot of beans, one sink of dishes and 3124 words. #EightThreeMinutesLeftBeforePickUp

— Rachel Zucker (@rachzuck) January 7, 2013

 

Wow! Great deal!! twitter.com/rachzuck/statu…

— Rachel Zucker (@rachzuck) December 10, 2012

Adam Wilson
Wilson is an essayist, novelist and author of last year’s Flatscreen. He teaches fiction courses, and likes to use Twitter to weigh in on pop culture, poke fun at listicles, and in the case of this last Tweet (which was from a series of thoughts while watching 200 Cigarettes), both.

All I’m saying is that Anne Frank would have rather boned Bieber than Philip Roth.

— Adam Wilson (@bubblesdepot) April 14, 2013

 

Or maybe Philip Roth should have sex with Justin Bieber?

— Adam Wilson (@bubblesdepot) April 14, 2013

 

10 Books whose cover images make good masturbation fodder.

— Adam Wilson (@bubblesdepot) December 4, 2012

 

10 local cookbooks you bought to prop up the idea that brooklyn is some kind of culinary mecca

— Adam Wilson (@bubblesdepot) December 4, 2012

 

10. Rough estimate on how many penises have been inside Courtney Love? Anyone?

— Adam Wilson (@bubblesdepot) September 8, 2012

 

Dorothea Lasky
Lasky, known to friends and students as Dottie, is a revered young poet and teacher of poetry workshops at NYU. Her Twitter is a mix of personal anecdotes, friendly interactions, and the kind of poetic non-sequeter which inspired this post:

I feel like a green bean

— Dorothea Lasky (@DorotheaLasky) April 2, 2013

 

Veterinary principles

— Dorothea Lasky (@DorotheaLasky) March 2, 2013

 

I see all empty space in crowds as what I can run thru

— Dorothea Lasky (@DorotheaLasky) April 30, 2013

 

Fur is the most holy thing

— Dorothea Lasky (@DorotheaLasky) April 7, 2013

 

Sharon Olds
Finally, this year’s Pullitzer-winning poet has an interesting Twitter presence. Two accounts purport to be the poet; both verge on the brink of parody, yet whether they are farce or fact is as yet unknown. Here are some of their stranger posts:

HOW do they do it?! How can people have sex without love??

— Sharon Olds (@SexWithoutLOVE4) May 9, 2012

 

“I was a late bloomer. But anyone who blooms at all, ever, is very lucky” # #wecantallbloomlikeabeautifulflower

— Sharon Olds(@Old_Sharon) December 2, 2012

 

my poetry inspired 50 Shades of Gray #yourwelcome

— Sharon Olds(@Old_Sharon) November 14, 2012

 

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