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/ April 26, 2013
Life At NYU, As Told By NYU Fanfiction

Remember when you were waiting for your acceptance letter? Whether NYU was your dream school or just your safety, you’d catch yourself longing for the city, dreaming of the day when you’d leave your home for the magic of New York (this was before you learned about Bobst.)

You weren’t the only one dreaming. In fact, some would-be students have dedicated hundreds of pages to their NYU-centric fantasies. So focused are these writers’ efforts that NYU Fanfiction has swelled into its own thriving—if slightly inaccurate—genre. So, without further ado, NYU Local presents the best of NYU fanfiction:

In a sweeping epic that pairs an NYU student (a “Music&Arts” major) with One Direction member Harry Styles, author CandyStyles relates the experience of arriving at one’s new dorm by cab.

“Oh, here! Umm… 26 and Bleak street please…?” I commanded him in a shy way. After almost 2 hours of being stuck in the summer traffic, the taxi finally stopped in front of a huge building that was surrounded by lots of grass. “Oh my god! Here we are! The NYU dorms! I can recognize it from the pictures I saw on their website!” I almost svreamed. [Editor’s note: We’re not sure what ‘svreamed’ means, either. Some form of One Direction-related screeching, perhaps?]

Surrounded by grass, you say? Get us to 26 and Bleak Street!

But geographic confusion is understandable in the city, especially for non-students. That’s why we don’t fault “writerdude3000” for pointing his protagonist “up” 15th Street toward the fictional “Dartyore Dorm”.

She ran up to Washington Square a woman with an NYU shirt sat eating a sandwich,

“Which was is Dartyore dorm?” Katie asked franticlly,

The woman pointed up 15th street. Katie nodded and ran in the direction. A black flag with the words DARTYORE hang from a foreboding stone building, around twenty floors tall. She ran in and went to the info desk,

“Which apartment is.. uh Christopher in?”

The woman frowned,

“Do you know… Christopher’s last name?”

“CRAP! uh…” Katie thought, “He’s GAY!”

The woman nodded,

“THAT Christopher, 13A, shall I ring up?”

Oh, THAT Christopher? Yes, everyone knows Christopher the Gay. We’ll ring him up right away.

Almost as prevalent as stand-alone NYU fanfiction are NYU roleplays, fiction written by groups.

 “New York Beats Roleplay,” which uses the above graphic, bills itself as a roleplay “situated in Greenwich, Manhattan” that “takes you through the whole drama of boarding, roommates, education, creepy neighbors, sucky love-lives, misbehaving pets, internships and, of course, city life!”

“Internships,” and “sucky love-lives” doesn’t sound too far off the mark for most real NYU students. Let’s check in with some of the characters:

He stretched as he let his bags (yet again) fall to the floor, dropping his backpack on his bed. Being an athlete- a reasonably sucessful one at that, he had a lean Y-shaped body. His muscular shoulders were wide and conveyed a sense of innate strength possessed by him. They complimented his toned chest and strong looking arms. Plunging steeply inwards, his waist betreyed not an inch or pound of surplus fat. His legs were equally toned as the rest of him, with rubbery muscules evident under his summer tanned sink.

“Rubbery muscules,” huh? We must have missed you as you bounced down West 4th Street. Who are these elastic-y students, and where can we find them on campus? According to another NYU roleplay group, they go by names like “Jexier,” “Nikkita,” and “Elektra,” and–according to a third group–they’re busy manning our highly popular radio talk shows.

“Gooooood Morning NYU!” The voice spoke through the radio. […] “It’s another B-E-A-utiful morning here on the lovely campus of New York University and you are tuned in to the best of the airwaves in the city…”

That, or they’re partyin’ hard.

“Ah what the hell!” James grinned, throwing back his shot in unison with the guys. Who knew if something like this would happen again.

“Whoooooo!” Jake whooped, finishing his shot in one swift gulp.”

Fortunately, when there’s a fictional party, everyone knows about it.

 He pulled out from his backpack the events flyer for NYU. “What are we doing tonight?” he asked, willing James to change the topic.

James followed and stood in the doorway, “Hmm I don’t know, whatever is going on we should go, I think there’s a party tonight at the dorms.”
You heard it here first. There’s a party. Tonight. At The Dorms. Bring your rubbery-muscled friends.
[image via]