Senior Bucket List: We Went Swimming In Palladium (NSFW)


The seniors of NYU Local have put together the ultimate bucket list for NYU’s class of 2013. Most of us have spent the last four years under our covers blogging in front of the soft glow of our warm laptops — it’s time we got out out the house.

10. Swim at Palladium

If there was ever a day to go for a dip in the Palladium pool, it was this past Saturday afternoon. We met up at three in the musty locker rooms outside the natatorium — after silently (and shamefully) stripping in front of a bunch of strangers, it was go time. But first, as per NYU law, we had to take mandatory showers to get nice and wet before we hopped into the swim lanes. Andrew was sporting his favorite orange swim trunks from Banana Republic and John did his best to keep his heavy, soaked Converse cut-offs from sinking down to his ankles.

Slippity dippity wackiness ensued.

Before we hit the pool, we were told almost immediately by accompanying friends that “there were a lot of rules in these parts.” The semi-babelicious lifeguards (shout-outs to Wendy Peppercorn) informed us of all the codes we had to follow: no running, no street clothes, no diving boards, no splashing and especially no photography. But rules are meant to be broken.

As a result, we snuck in our photographer, who was forced to take crotch shots from her iPhone behind double-paned glass. The lifeguards scowled at us for this but they were scared to seek further action. Instead, they giggled at us, these two flopping bozos who struggled to put on school-funded flippers. As a precautionary measure, we stuck to the slow lane — we had this all to ourselves until this bald guy that looked like Mike from Breaking Bad got in and claimed his territory.

Besides all of that, overall, it was a great swim.

“The flippers were fucking sweet,” Gallatin senior Andrew Olshevski told NYU Local. “I felt more alive than the Bee Gees.” Andrew spent a majority of his time in the pool cascading on his back in a Michael Phelps-like manner. He was the last one out of the pool.

John prunes easily so he didn’t spend much time underwater. And, as mentioned before, John was really weighed down by his decision to go with non-swimming trunks that afternoon. That aside, he still had a bunch of fun: “The water was a really nice temperature,” the CAS senior affirmed, nodding his head. “I think I’ll come back soon.”

Fatigued by the chlorine exposure, it was time to hit the showers again. A mystery cleansing liquid was provided courtesy of NYU.  Andrew put it in his hair. John did not. We’re still waiting back on sources to find out if it was shampoo.

After rinsing off, the boys were confronted with the dilemma of wetness — John didn’t have a towel. Luckily, NYU has this fantastic spinning machine that whips your trunks around like cotton candy until they’re dried. As John’s trunks were super-soaked, it took much longer than anyone thought it would.

“The highlight for me was seeing the sullen look on John’s face while he nakedly waited for his shorts to dry,” Andrew said. “He really looked uncomfortable.”

“I’ve never been that ashamed in my life,” John agreed. “But, yeah, I think I’ll still come back soon.”

Photos by Julia Berke.

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