Drunk Sober High: Tear It Up!

One of our favorite series here at NYU Local is the highbrow, social cultural analysis-friendly Drunk Sober High. For those unfamiliar with the article, our staff sends three writers to an event under the eponymous states of consciousness, and subsequently has them review the event from their, uh, unique perspectives.

When we heard that NYU was organizing its supposedly community bolstering Tear It Up! athletic event for the boys basketball game (against the University of Rochester, the #1 Division III team in the nation) we decided it was time to revitalize the series in hopes of discovering if NYU can actually foster school spirit. Rather than send three writers, we gathered a hoard of students to toke up, drink up and go to the event with a clear head to get a better consensus regarding the merits and pitfalls of the spectacle.

We’re still not sure if NYU has legitimate school spirit, but we did realize that Tear It Up! is an irony-free zone that is serious fun (if you did the right type of pregaming). Take a look at our blurred responses and read why we think NYU cheated us on Qdoba, why some of us would fuck the Bobcat, and why player Devin Karch’s scruff is really worth thinking about.

Have you ever been to Tear It Up before?

Drunk #1: No

Drunk #2: No

Drunk #3: Yes, a couple times.

Drunk #4: No

Sober #1: This was my second year of attendance. I went last year and snuck in cheap whiskey.

Sober #2: Nope

High #1: Nah

High #2: Nah.

What was your initial reaction to the crowd and set-up of Coles? How did it compare to your perception of sports events at other universities?

Drunk #1: It was hot and decently enough like a legitimate college sports event. Good by NYU standards, but I don’t know how much that counts for.

Drunk #2: It was really crowded and really hot. I didn’t like how many people there were. I thought it was like any sports event at any other university.

Drunk #3: It was definitely the best crowd I’d ever seen at a Tear It Up, everyone was really into it. This seems like the best you could do at a Division III school, but its still not even close to what its like to go a top Division I basketball game, that’s a whole different ballpark.

Drunk #4: It was dope! Go Violets!!

Sober #1: I saw a lot of chicks I haven’t seen since a party at Hayden freshman year. So that was kinda cool. In regards to universities, NYU thinks about it too much.

Sober #2: I was surprised how big it was. That place was actually really packed which is amusing because the perception I’ve always had was that no one goes to these things, but I was very wrong.

High #1: I was very overwhelmed at first. It felt like high school sports so it was cool to see a big crowd at a game.

High #2: It seemed really well attended for an NYU event, though the food looked like ass and it took forever to find a bathroom from the bleachers.

How did your soberness/drunkenness/highness affect your experience at the game?

Drunk #1: It was fun. I probably cheered more than I otherwise would have aka I didn’t care that I probably seemed like an asshole.

Drunk #2: I got really into it and was shouting things like BUSH LEAGUE and AMATEUR HOUR, calling out players numbers who were open etc.

Drunk #3: I was definitely a little rowdier than usual, yelled a decent amount of profanity laced cheers, but I think everyone was getting into the game, I mean even if your sober you’re going to be excited to see your school knock off the number one team in the nation.

Drunk #4: So much fun. For 40 minutes, I felt like I actually went to college.

Sober #1: I checked my watch more than once.

Sober #2: I’m pretty loud either way so I don’t think it mattered too much. Still called Rochester “Chode-Chester” and called the player who missed a dunk “the most basic bitch on the court.”

High #1: I usually get very emotional during sporting events (I’m a die-hard Mets fan) so being high made me not emotionally attached.

High #2: The game was pretty whatever, but I’m not a huge sports fan in general, and it was more than entertaining enough to watch the Drunk crew react.

What did you think of the merch and food provided by NYU? If you could choose any food (other than Qdoba) to be served, what would you choose?

[Editors Note: Drunk #4 succinctly summarized the other participants’ feelings/responses to this question, so we’ve only included his response for length reasons. We also know the shirt costs were for charity, but just play along here.]

Drunk #4 Qdoba wasn’t there. Let me just say: Fuck whoever the fuck was in charge of that. YOU CANT SPARE ME A FUCKING T SHIRT WITH A HASHTAG BASKETBALL ON IT?!?! YOU REALLY ARE GOING TO ASK ME TO PAY 3 DOLLARS FOR THAT?!?! MY UNIVERSITY WON’T EVEN GIVE ME A FUCKING TEE SHIRT TO CHEER FOR MY SCHOOL WITH. AND NO THE FACT THAT YOU HAD TO BUY A SHIRT TO EAT FOOD REALLY PISSED ME OFF AT FIRST, UNTIL I FOUND OUT THAT THE FOOD WAS DEHYDRATED ASTRONAUT FOOD PASTA LEFTOVER FROM THE APOLLO 13 FLIGHT. IT WAS A FUCKING INSULT TO MY BODY. SO FUCK THAT. WHERES THE QDOBA, YOU PRICKS?

Would you fuck the Bobcat? What position? Where on campus would you sleep with the big pussy? 

Drunk #1: I’m good thanks.

Drunk #2: N/A

Drunk #3: Probably not, I here that the Bobcat gets around a lot.

Drunk #4: Oh c’mon. He’s sweet.

Sober #1: Crabs.

Sober #2:  Yeah I’d fuck the Bobcat. Especially if boys basketball #33 Devin Karch was under the suit. He’s a fucking 10.

High #1 Lol no, but if I did it would be doggie style in the LL2 bathrooms in Bobst.

High #2 Dude…

How would you describe NYU’s boys basketball team in three words?

Drunk #1: Really, really, white.

Drunk #2: Tall, sexy boys.

Drunk #3: All white everything.

Drunk #4: Devin Karch’s scruff.

Sober #1: Wow, you’re tall.

Sober #2: Devin Fucking Karch.

High #1 Delusional 2k13 players.

High #2: Intense. Dedicated. White.

Did you think NYU had school spirit, prior to attending Tear It Up? Have your views changed since Friday?

Drunk #1: Not really and not really. Not many people seemed to actually care.

Drunk #2: Nope. I thought people were pretty uninterested in sports. Then again everyone there was a frat bro. Which is fine.

Drunk #3: I think that specific parts of NYU have always had school spirit, i.e. clubs, sports teams, but I think that if an average NYU student comes to a game, they’ll definitely leave feeling a little prouder to be going to NYU.

Drunk #4: Anyone who says NYU has spirit is misinformed or misguided. But at least we can all gather together in jeering the Rochester team for attending a safety school.

Sober #1: NYU has school spirit when it wants to.

Sober #2: Yeah, I think NYU has a kind of anti-school spirit in that everyone unanimously loves hating it together. This was earnest school spirit though which was fun to see.

High #1: Nah I felt like people were ironically into it.

High #2: I mean, NYU has a very unique community that’s not necessarily conducive to traditional “rah-rah” school spirit (and that’s why I love it), but it was pretty cool seeing everyone get excited about the same thing together.

Did you think the game demonstrated community within NYU’s student body?

Drunk #1: That we’re ironic?

Drunk #2: I guess the Greek life community? I couldn’t tell what groups from NYU were actually there, other than the guys who were wearing their frat garb.

Drunk #3 For those who were at the game it definitely felt like a community, but the problem is that is still such a small percentage of NYU students. NYU needs to find a way to attract more people besides athletes and frat bros to come to the games, they need to show students that going to a game is fun even if your not into sports because of the fun and pride that obnoxiously yelling at a sporting event can create.

Drunk #4: Kinda, I guess.

Sober #1: That question is hella meta.

Sober #2: No.

High #1: Yeah.

High #2: Yeah, I guess.

What was your response when the boys team won?

Drunk #1: ‘Wait that’s not supposed to happen” Then I wanted to storm the court and was pissed they didn’t let us.

Drunk #2: I wanted to rush the court with a bunch of the fratty frats but NYU security roped off the court quick. So sad.

Drunk #3: “Wait… we’re kinda good at sports!”

Drunk #4: I was ready to go ham and storm the court but forgot that our university is so lame as to prevent the kids from storming the court after their team knocks off the #1 ranked squad. So a big FUCK YOU to the hair-gelled goatee fat masturbating fucks who run NYU Coles for preventing community spirit at NYU.

Sober #1: I exited the gym.

Sober #2: I was proud of that one player Devin who I really wanted to bone. I felt like if there was any chance of me sleeping with him it was increased when they won because of endorphines or something.

High #1: I was excited cuz they actually played really well and fought really hard to win.

High #2: “Oh shit, we actually won?” I came to the game intending to laugh hysterically at our crushing defeat, but witnessing our success at an actual athletic event was pretty cool I guess.

What did you think of the cheerleaders and halftime show?

Drunk #1: They were fine. The real thing to focus on was the one person in the free throw contest who literally spend the entire 20 seconds taking one shot. Seriously, we’re NYU but you have to do better than that.

Drunk #2: The cheerleaders were cool. I was smoking a cig during the halftime show.

Drunk #3: What halftime show? I was waiting in line for the food.

Drunk #4: Dude I’m at work and can’t write more.

Sober #1: I have a cigarette problem.

Sober #2: They were not very good. Seems weird to me that someone would want to be a cheerleader in college. Don’t really get that whole thing if there’s no “cool lunch table” to sit at.

High #1: “McKayla is not impressed” meme.

High #2: That shit was CRAZY. A guy in a horse mask dancing to Gangnam Style is the fuel of David Lynch’s worst nightmares.

If you could have chose another state of conscious to be in, what would it have been and why?

Drunk #1: Drunk and sports are a natural combo. Definitely not sober

Drunk #2: Was pretty content being drunk. I would probably not go sober.

Drunk #3: Sober, I don’t think it’d honestly be that fun to be high at a sporting event, I’d probably just be thinking about the food the whole time.

Drunk #4: Molly because that would feel good.

Sober #1: Baked, because yeah.

Sober #2: I think I would’ve been drunk. I was pretty rowdy, but I would’ve been way rowdier if I was hammered. Thank your lucky stars NYU Safety Officers.

High #1: Sober I would of hated being drunk.

High #2: Probably drunk – those people were getting into it. I spent a fair amount of the game wishing I was at home watching Workaholics.

[Images courtesy of Julia Berke]

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    3 Comments

  1. Valencia Reyes says

    Zach Sokol you should not be allowed to write;; spors are bad. sports waste the good blood.

    some of us need it.

    please try better next time. depend on here for need basis informaton. I am

    very disappointed with this club. and with you zach.

    how much does your even blood cost? I am nursisng student