Every day this week, we’re bringing you diaries from some of NYU’s shiny new freshmen. Click here to meet our diarists, read up on what you’ve missed so far, and check back on NYU Local every day for more insight.

8:00 - There’s a noise in my room and I am going to punch in the face whatever is making that noise. I am not a morning person. As I roll over in my bed (only once, because my bed is a twin), my morning state of mind slowly arrives at the conclusion that the detestable object making the noise is my phone. I still want to punch it in the face. Speaking of noises, is anyone else jarred from his sleep by that rumbling garbage truck every morning? Seriously, that thing is the loudest vehicle I have ever heard. The first night it rolled by, I honestly thought the street was splitting apart.

8:07 - I am thankful I had the foresight not to schedule any early orientation events today (not that I would have gone for sure). I start on my blog for Tuesday.

8:45 - Roomies are gone. I parade about the dorm in my boxers Risky Business-style. I continue on my blog for Tuesday.

11:17 - I finish my blog for Tuesday. I celebrate with a plastic cup filled to the brim with orange juice.

12:55 - Having nothing to do until two, I convince several folks to attend the event “60/40: Being Male at NYU” with me. None of us know what to expect.

1:17 - 20+ male freshmen are sitting in a disheveled oval of chairs waiting for the thing to begin. There is a demonstrable absence of women attending this event.

1:20 - We are going around the circle introducing ourselves and sharing what product geared towards men we enjoy the most. Someone says Hanes boxer briefs. A few nod appreciatively.

1:30 - We discuss amongst ourselves the stereotypes of being male at college (frats, sports, sex) and being male at NYU (not frats, not sports, sex).

1:37 - I need to be at the Cantor Film Center on East 8th Street, so I bounce.

2:00 - A highly uninteresting orientation to the film and television department commences.

2:45 - A highly uninteresting orientation to the film and television department continues.

3:30 - A highly uninteresting orientation to the film and television department continues still. I know I should be more stoked for this (I am, but this dark theatre is making me sleepy). It is also not helping that they’ve devoted almost an entire hour to listening to gobbledygook from the administration. Also, Microsoft Word autocorrected my spelling of gobbledygook. That has to be the most obscure word I have ever typed that’s been autocorrected.

3:45ish - By the grace of the film gods and in the interest of retaining as many kids as possible, the orientation ends early. We get a free aluminum water bottle that proudly displays the name of our film department. The line is excruciatingly long. I need to get to 383 Lafayette Street before four to finally get my NYU ID. I bounce.

4:00 or thereabouts - It’s getting hot. The weather here has been spotty. Or rather my phone’s forecast app has been spotty. It wasn’t supposed to be this hot this late. After taking a right on Lafayette when I most definitely needed to take a left on Lafayette, I double back and start walking north. I nearly walk past one of the more nondescript doors on Lafayette street and enter, finding solace in the cool breeze of air conditioning.

4:06 - Standing in line to fill out the ID form the corner of my eye catches a tattoo on the forearm of the student next to me. Stretching from near his elbow to his wrist is an equation. I’m not sure why I like it so much. It may be the font, or the simple black color, or maybe the way the color contrasts with his pasty skin, but this is one of the better tattoos I have ever seen. I tell him this, and he mentions he got it in China. The woman behind the desk chimes in and compliments it as well. The woman next to her also asks to see it. They spend some time talking to the kid about his tattoos and not helping me.

4:26 - I get my ID. Feeling all official and shit, I head back to Hayden.

4:35 - I pass a couple in the park playing the cello and what is either a comically small guitar or a ukelele. They are singing in an upbeat and folksy manner, and I don’t recognize what they’re singing until after I pass them. The first words that register are, “To the window … To the wall … To the sweat drip down my balls.” Awesome.

4:37 - I walk a different part of the park, past fellas playing blitz chess and dominoes. It’s a great area right here, shaded with benches and tables for eating. I’m gonna have to come back here.

4:52 - I meet up with a friend for dinner. Instead of going the financially responsible route and eating at the dining hall, we splurge on chicken kebab wraps at a nearby restaurant and head to the park.

5:02 - There’s a big guy playing chess a couple tables down and he’s yelling about God-knows-what. We chow down on the kebabs and then dip back to our dorms.

5:30 - There is something later tonight called NYU: Portraits. I have absolutely no idea what it is. I think we get our pictures taken? But I’ve heard Stanley Tucci is going to be there, so “Portraits” is probably the title of a performance of something. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if Stanley Tucci turns out to be Jerry O’Connell.

6:45 - There’s an unfathomably long line for this event. Like, people lined up from the doors all the way down one street, down another street, and wraps around part of the park, too. I’m expecting big things from Stanley Tucci/Jerry O’Connell.

8:30 - They say good things come in small packages, which is appropriate, because Stanley Tucci is a little guy. But gee whiz can that man act. The whole set up for the performance is actually pretty cool. There is about eight or nine people on stage, and each one is reading a passage or a letter or a courtroom transcript, all having to deal with social issues throughout the history of the United States and the world.

8:37 - I can handle social issues for only so long, and after we saw Stanley perform his piece we went back to Hayden and called it a night.

10-1 - Just kidding; we went back to that place on Broadway.

Little bit after 1 - A nice little walk around the steps in the fountain in Washington Square Park well after the park is closed. Feeling devious.

1:30 - Feeling less devious and more ready for bed.