9:24 - There is a discussion about Tisch’s summer reading assignment at 9:30, and I am running late. There’s something about me and the early-to-mid nine o’clock’s and the whole “being on time” thing that just doesn’t exactly come to fruition. I’m sitting in the back of a taxi cab rushing to 721 Broadway from the Holiday Inn on the corner of Lafayette and Howard. There is a tear in my eye, and I am not sure why. It could be the fact that my iPad and I are reunited. It could also be the fact that I just saw my mother and father for the last time until winter break. I’m wondering why there is only one tear in one eye.
9:34 - I tip the taxi driver 40 percent in some bizarre attempt to redeem myself from yesterday, when I threw away a perfectly decent slice of pizza instead of donating it to one of the city’s many folks without homes. As I push “confirm” on the payment, I expect some sense of gratification, perhaps a moment of catharsis. This is quickly overtaken by the realization that 1) the taxi driver is not homeless and b) that money could have gone to some split pea soup from Cozy Soup ‘n’ Burger. My second Tisch-oriented Welcome Week event, and I again arrive four minutes late. Perhaps I need to start leaving four minutes earlier.
9:41 - Somebody makes a Doctor Who reference. I roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out of their sockets.
10:40 - The film students in the discussion take over and we talk about how we would adapt this novel into a film. I feel at home. I also feel tired.
11:00 - That tiredness hasn’t gone away in the past twenty minutes, and as I walk out of 721 Broadway, I am faced with a dilemma. Do I go to my next Welcome Week event at 12:00? Do I go to the bookstore to get coffee in a last-ditch effort to get some energy? Or do I bite the bullet, go home to my cozy dorm, and take a much-needed nap?
2:15 - I chose the latter. I would feel bad about skipping the Welcome Week event, but I still have several events left on my agenda. That’s when I look at my phone and see a reminder about the meet-up with my Tisch arts mentor, starting at 2:30.
2:19 - I’ve got my speed-walking shoes on as I walk through the park on my way back to Tisch. Out of the corner of my eye I think I see Bigfoot. Instead it is simply a giant man bouncing back and forth on his toes. He’s wearing pads on his hands and has them up in sort of a self-defense position. I look around to see if anyone else is noticing this, and see a small boy sprinting towards the man in a crazed determination to knock him on his ass. I’m about to shout to bigfoot to look out but realize as the boy’s futile attempts to punch bigfoot are rendered useless by the pads on his hands, that this is self-defense training. Only in the park.
3:30 - We spent a grand total of ten minutes inside Tisch, where we’re told about which floors our classes would be on and other tidbits of information. The exciting part of the tour has taken us to Chinatown, where our terrific mentor Quincy has so graciously offered to buy us dumplings.
3:32 - Chinatown smells like fish.
3:35 - Standing in line for dumplings, I notice a black poster on the side of a trashcan. It reads, “Dolphins Rape People.” I don’t think much of it until I think about what I just read. “Dolphins Rape People.” Not “Dolphins Eat People,” or “Dolphins Play With People,” or even “Dolphins Like People.” Rape. Somebody else points this out and I think it’s just a joke until another person chimes in and mentions that every year, more people are raped by dolphins than bitten by sharks.
5:00 - I stroll through the park on my way back to Hayden, my mind racing with the new perspective on dolphins, and pass a man sitting on the bench. This wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary until I notice the seven pigeons sitting on his legs, arm, and head. He’s filthy. His blue tank top is dusty from what I’m assuming is pigeon dust and his grey mustache is coated in God knows what. Oh, and some guy offers me some Coke. He tells me he knows I’m into that kind of stuff because of the hat I’m wearing. I’m flattered by his compliment, but I politely decline, telling him I have Pepsi in the fridge back home.
6:30 - Dinner at Hayden’s dining hall. Surprisingly good. Kinda Whole Foods-y. Fresh, local, and I look down somewhat on every other place.
9:00 – Getting ready for party time at Third North.
9:30 - A friend and I split off from the group to have a late snack to pad our stomachs before the party and I have a double espresso because I am determined not to fall asleep to Full Metal Jacket at 11:00 again. I also think that is a run-on sentence. Get at me.
9:50 - Twenty minutes and an American Spirit later, we arrive at Third North. I’m cursing myself for not having gotten my actual NYU ID yet, as it is causing trouble with the stubborn guard. He asks to see a photo ID and I hand him my paper driver’s liscene from Iowa. Side note: when you renew your license, Iowa gives you a paper one for 30 days (don’t ask me why). The guard calls bullshit and thinks I made it myself. I’m flattered, but I tell him I didn’t. After I spend a bit more time laying on the charm, aka begging him, he lets us through. We don’t make it twenty feet before we run into several people from our group headed on their way out. Apparently they can’t find several more people from our group so we leave to find them.
10:00 - There is an alarm of sorts coming from the inside of Third North. A shit-ton of kids come out, and soon fire trucks arrive. Third North is on fire..?
10:15 - Eventually we all meet up and determine our plan of action. Party at Rubin, the place that has no air conditioning and is a residence hall with RA’s? Or an apartment above an American Apparel on Broadway? Ha.
11:45 - There’s a moment when you are partying in an apartment above an American Apparel on Broadway when you kind of put your shot glass down and think to yourself, “Holy shit, I’m partying in an apartment above an American Apparel on Broadway.” Des Moines doesn’t have an American Apparel. I’m pretty sure Des Moines doesn’t even have a street called Broadway. The last time I was partying in an apartment I’m pretty sure someone got stabbed in the courtyard.
12ish - Walk back to Hayden through Washington Square Park. Not sure when the park closes. I’m trying to keep an eye out for bigfoot and the pigeon man. And homeboy selling Coke.
12:10ish - The night guard at Hayden is a swell guy.
12:11ish-3:10- We have some people over throughout the night, and a few wind up staying over. This is the third night in a row we’ve had people crash in our room. Gonna have to cherish these moments for when that thing called school actually starts.







“Twenty Minutes and an American Spirit Later” should be the title of an anthology of these things.
disregard what jerry o’connell told you at the presidential welcome: cozy soup n burger is way overpriced BUT it is a great place for a post-bar 2 a.m. coffee milkshake
and ken, i could not agree more.
“9:41 – Somebody makes a Doctor Who reference. I roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out of their sockets.”
Woah dude, you’re so cool.
^^^^^congrats on your first nyulocal hater cole!!! you’ve made it!!!!!!^^^^^