It is everyone’s favorite time of the year again. Whether you’ve already begun to feel the wrath of exams or will be here all the way until May 15th, no one has time to cook these days. In order to cope with the hours you will spend buried in textbooks, here is a list of the best places that deliver to campus late-night (or are walking-distance and open late night–strolling is a great way to maintain sanity):
99 Miles to Philly: While their namesake cheesesteaks are good, most people agree that their waffle fries make all the difference. With an abnormally large surface area and just enough grease to seep through and dampen the brown bag, 99 Miles to Philly can provide you with some much needed comfort while you try and cram all those Organic Chemistry reactions into your knowledge-saturated head.
This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef: Although this place might have earned the title of worst title for a restaurant in the country, they do a good job of keeping this obnoxious theme everywhere. The actual food itself is actually pretty fantastic, with sandwich options like “This Way” (roast beef with au jus and cheez whiz), “That Way” (roast beef with gravy and fresh mozzarella), “The Other Thing” (pastrami with coleslaw and spicy brown mustard), and “Something Else” (roast beef on an Italian bread hero with cheez whiz, fresh Mozzarella cheese, gravy, au jus and hand cut fries).
Each one of these sandwiches is extremely savory, and they don’t make you feel absolutely miserable post-consumption. The options for sides are excellent as well, with the clear favorite being the cheese fries—potato wedges smothered in cheese sauce. Lastly, TLPHRB has the advantage of having hands down the nicest, most professional delivery people you can ever ask for. Good food, great service, and reasonable prices will dry your tears after an evening spent trying to understand negative swap spreads, hedging the risk on swaptions, and the no-arbitrage valuation of multitranche mortgage-backed securities.
Hollywood Diner: Although most of the food offered here is your standard diner fare, they have one standout offering—Pasta New Orleans Chicken. Save for the grammatically-challenged name, this pasta is perfect. It is hearty while not being heavy, the chicken is seasoned sparingly, but with enough to give it some real spice. The dish also comes with bread and your choice of soup or salad, which when paired with the very generous portions of pasta makes for a ginormous meal that is more than enough food for two stressed-out college students. They have a slew of pastas on the menu, as well as comically-named sandwiches and a plethora of seafood. Exactly the brain food you need as you question your judgment when you decided to take that seminar on developmental communicative disorders.
Crif Dogs: Holy artery-clogging goodness, Batman, Crif Dogs has some of the most deliciously sinful late-night food around, with items like the “Morning Jersey” dog which comes wrapped in Taylor ham, melted cheese, and a fried egg, and their infamous “Spicy Redneck”, which is a bacon-wrapped hot dog topped with chili, cole slaw, and jalapenos. The dogs are surprisingly not too heavy in your stomach, and their tater tots deserve special recognition. Unwrapping the aluminum foil that engulfs the tots reveals a steamy mountain of perfectly fried potatoes, each of which should be dipped liberally in the spicy mustard provided. Insanely tasty, especially for those dark moments when you are trying to navigate yourself through singular value decompositions in infinite dimensional subspaces.
10th Avenue Wine and Liquors—This place delivers tequila, whiskey, and 1.5 liters of wine at very reasonable prices. Perfect for….well, any occasion. YOLO.