The maddening silence of the sixth floor quiet area, the dulling boredom of the stacks—these must be broken by the gift of music. And sometimes one iTunes library is not enough. When you’re coming down from Adderall and realize you’ve been listening to the same three songs for two hours, someone else’s music can be a relief. But perhaps the more important and widespread phenomenon is the employ of shared iTunes libraries as a means of distraction. If you are very confused, here are instructions on how to share your iTunes library so that next time you’re in Bobst, you can spend all of your time guessing passwords and listening to music that other people stole. Here are some of our favorite libraries:
Password Is Taco’s Library:
The most ubiquitous of shared iTunes libraries, this one’s user is always logged in, deeming them deserving of the titular theme of this post. Their ubiquity does not only stem from exposure, but also from its mystery: The password is not taco.
Didactic’s Pop Life’s Library:
This is the holy grail of shared iTunes libraries. The title is painfully self-aware though safe to trust. This iTunes library spans centuries and genres, covering all your basics in full-album form, and is recommended when you’re in the library for the long haul. Begin with Beethoven and Bach, move to Buddy Holliday, Jelly Roll Morton, Mississipi John Hurt, through Tim Hecker and Ton Koopman (classical organ! what?!) and end up in familiar territory with Yo La Tengo.
Forever Street Metal’s Library:
Another self-aware title that does not disappoint. We like this library largely for its genre names: Doom Metal, Death Metal, Black Metal, Post-Black Metal and Dark Jazz.
A guilty pleasure library with all your means of indulgence, including Bright Eyes, Miley Cyrus, Matchbox 20 and Maroon 5. Even though Boykin is probably your last name, we like to imagine you look like this.
For Your Listening Pleasure…’s Library:
This library falls into the same category as Password Is Taco, but somehow manages to be worse as it promises “pleasure.” We tried all the passwords we could think of but couldn’t guess. For Your Listening Pleasure, if you’re out there, let us listen, please.
Assorted Pornography’s Library:
We suspect this title is intended to be ironic or something. Maybe it is a take on the common euphemism for good music, “an orgasm for your ears.” But taken literally, it works fairly well. If pornography is vulgar, phallo-centric and loud, so is this library. If you’re into that sort of thing, take a listen to the Rise Against and Korn that Assorted Pornography has to offer. (To their credit, they also have Oberhofer and Rodrigo y Gabriela which is maybe where “assorted” comes into play.)
As a final note, we are seriously shocked at how many of you have Skrillex on your iTunes. Shocked.