As the nights remain cold and we bundle up in Bobst for midterms, we need look no further than our own backyard to have an old-fashioned chuckle. Thanks to NYU’s Office of Public Safety crime statistics, one student’s mistakes are our treasures. Here we have a report on NYU’s finest and the criminals they attempted to bring to justice this February.
2/2, 4:15 pm, Bobst: ”A student states that between 2:30pm and 3:15pm on date of report, her pink coffee cup of undetermined value was taken from the counter of the ladies bathroom on the lower level while using the facility” ….
February 8, 9:55 AM, Kriser Dental Center: “On time and date of report, a student states that over the past few months, notes and pictures of a harassing nature have been inserted into her lockers on the 10th floor. Today, an unused condom was discovered. NYPD notified and a police report was filed.” At least it wasn’t a used one!
February 10, 8:00 PM, Broadway/Waverly Bike Rack: “On time and date of report, a student states that between 4 PM and time/date of report, someone attempted to steal his bicycle valued at $25 causing damage to the gears.” $25? This guy must read NYU Local.
February 17, 2:45 PM, Coles: ”On time and date of report, a staff member states that at 2:30 PM, an unidentified female starting following her and verbally harassing her regarding upcoming construction at the facility. Individual then left before Public Safety was notified.” She should take her anger out on our Coles article instead.
This month was relatively tame, and, despite 5 crack downs on the marijuana cigarettes, relatively absent of funny stories. However, stupidity was rampant at NYU this month. In all, 15 things were stolen because they were unattended or left in unlocked lockers:
Conclusion: don’t leave your things unattended. Even though other NYU students seem trustworthy (it’s because we’re so adorable), theft still happens, even on campus with security guards around. Don’t risk losing your pink coffee cup in the bathroom.