Freshmen arrive each year at New York University. They are bright of eye. They are pink of cheek. They are excited for the possibilities of four years of societally-approved alcoholism. Thus, everyone ends up doing something they regret their freshmen year. Being young and stupid translates to many a night (or day, should you have an actual drinking problem) gone astray. And so we bring you some stories of our respective freshmen years. We may regret them, but hopefully they will entertain someone, out there.

1. Around November of my freshman year, one of my roommates mentioned that he wanted to make his own wine. This had always been something that I was interested in, but had never followed through with – when you’re living with your parents, it’s not easy to hide jugs of bubbling purple juice for a month – so I offered my services. We walked down to Gristedes and purchased the necessary supplies (a funnel, a few jugs of spring water, grape juice concentrate, sugar,and baker’s yeast) and then ran back to our room in Rubin like giddy schoolboys.

After about two hours of boiling water in an electric kettle and mixing it with sugar in someone’s abandoned Britta filter, our product was ready to start fermenting. We left the gallons of purple juice in our closet where they fizzed, bubbled, and leaked for three weeks until we determined that they were ready for consumption.

The stuff tasted like bread dipped in grape soda, and it gave us awful heartburn, but we proudly guzzled down obscene quantities of the nectar and then proceeded to vomit everywhere. After a few painfully sharp hangovers, we abandoned our home brew, dumped the last of it into the toilet, and bought a few bottles of three-buck chuck at the Trader Joe’s wine store.

 

2. A guy from class was leaving Third North and saw me signing out my fling. The guy from class had been somewhat creepy, always asking me to hangout and not really getting the hint I simply didn’t want to. I always attributed it to him being foreign and just not understanding social norms, after all he came to the first day of class of our entire college career at 8AM in a full on white Adidas tracksuit.

Anyway, after I finished signing out my fling I swiped back into the building and walked to my towers elevator. As the door was closing a hand suddenly stopped it. The guy from class had swiped back into the building and followed me. He stood in the elevator doorway preventing it from closing demanding to know who that was that I had been signing out, how I knew him, if we were dating, etc. while I kept trying to hit door close and say goodbye. Needless to say, it was an awkward rest of the semester in class. And even more awkward a week ago, 3 years later, when I went out to dinner with my parents and he was sitting on a birthday date at the table behind us.

 

3. The Friday of Halloween weekend freshman year, a few friends and I decided to go to some stupid warehouse party in Williamsburg. Evidently every single other college student in Manhattan had the same idea. People started blasting music and grinding and stuff on the train, so my friend and I, who had missed a pregame, decided to drink Four Loko on the train. We were doing the very classy can-in-paper-bag-like-a-homeless-man combo. We thought we were totally safe. We were not. We got picked up by Transit Police and taken to this weird glass cube at the end of the platform, which I guess was subway jail. Our other friends were outside, looking in, and freaking out. 

We sat for 20 minutes, until my friend was brave enough to ask what was going on. The scary cop that arrested us asked how old we were, and we said we were only 18 and gave them our licenses. We waited for another little while, until they told us that since we’d been cooperative, we would just get a court summons for $25, but that it would take a while to process.

Another cop asked us, in a super thick Queens accent, “Yo girls, chu wanna fuck wit your friends?” Our friends were still waiting outside the glass, with no idea of what was happening. Two awesome cops, who shalt not be named, started handcuffing my friend and another boy who was arrested with us. He told us to start fake crying. “Harder, girls, harder! Sob!” He then went outside and gestured to our friends. He told them that if they couldn’t pay $200 each for bail for us, then he would have to take us down to Central Booking, where we would be in jail all weekend. Our friends started freaking out, and asking the cops if they took credit cards or had an ATM (to which they responded, “We ain’t no bodega”). He closed the door on them and told them if they couldn’t pay in the next ten minutes we would be going to jail. They got upset.

The officer let them freak out for the next few minutes, making us fake cry the whole time. This was difficult. He then opened the door and said, “Aw girls I was just fucking with you! Let’s take some pictures!” So we took some pictures in our handcuffs.

We left, and on our way out one of the cops, who was fairly young and really hot, stopped my friend and asked for her phone number. He kept calling all night to offer us rides places, and told her he was pretty wasted. A few days later he started sexting her shirtless pictures from the gym. Ah, the great NYPD.

In another story, I ended up losing my court summons the day before I was supposed to go home for winter break and had to make several journeys back to subway jail to get another copy. My beloved cops remembered me and were quite helpful. I sent them a Christmas card.

 

4. Freshman year my friend and I wanted to remember our angsty teen roots and went to a Say Anything concert. We both got way too drunk off cheap vodka (we were serious about the angsty teen part) and forced our cab driver to pretend we were in Cash Cab. I learned some great facts– mostly capitals of Middle Eastern countries. Oh, and I missed half the concert because i was too drunk. It was definitely freshman fun that makes me nostalgic, and also the best cab ride of my life.

 

5. Alright so, the scene is Welcome Week 2010. I get my roommate assignment and she’s a musical performance major who loves her cat and god and her parents. She was not someone I had many mutual interests with. But we got along fine, until one defining incident. A major staple of Welcome Week is Fashion’s Night Out. The equation of doe-eyed freshmen and free, unsolicited alcohol is pretty much a match made in heaven.

I decided to hit 5th Avenue with some friends from orientation, where many free drinks were consumed, to an excess. I get back to my suite in Third North not feeling too great and I figured sleeping it off would be the best idea. I was wrong, I get settled in bed and then I start to feel really sick. I get up and try running to the bathroom, but to my dismay I barely got out of my room before I puke everywhere. My roommate shoots out of bed, screams and runs out of the room. Needless to say, we weren’t the best of friends for the year, or ever. Oh well.

 

6. Freshman year we had a party the last day before Christmas break called, ”All I Want For Christmas Is Booze.” But people were lame and my friend and I ended up being the only ones that got wasted. So naturally I put on my glow in the dark, dinosaur print, footie pajamas and went to Ben’s Pizza.I didn’t even end up getting pizza but just smoked a cigarette outside with my friend. Then I went home and tried to pack for break, but ended up packing only socks. I had to buy new clothes when I got to my parent’s house.

These are just some of the many dumb things NYU Local staff did over freshman year. Send us your own stories!

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