Top 5 Fictional NYU Accounts on Twitter And Facebook

As a tech-savvy NYU student, you probably maintain a few perfectly-manicured social media accounts and talk about tweeting as much as you actually tweet (and you do both a lot). Certainly you’ve liked and followed a few NYU accounts — mostly to find out if there’s a chance of a snow day — but, let’s face it, they don’t add any spice to your news feed or timeline. And while you’re sitting in class trying to figure out if talking about writing essays is worse than actually doing it, someone else is tweeting from a fictional account for your amusement. So minimize your Word document, and log on to Facebook. Here are the top five fictional NYU accounts to follow.

5. Housie Maguire (Facebook and @HousieMaguire)

Perhaps you’ve seen Housie passing out Sillybandz or giving out free ice cream during Welcome Week, and maybe you’ve wondered, “who the hell is that?” Well, he’s the IRHC mascot, and he’s actually pretty knowledgeable about all things that you’re too embarrassed to ask your RA. While his Facebook presence isn’t particularly mocking like some of the other fictional NYU accounts, Housie is helpful, and also, he and I have way more mutual friends than we should.

Sample Status: Heading to Hayden. The Housie is on the move. I repeat the Housie is on the move.

4. Fake MTA (@FakeMTA)

While not exactly NYU-specific, any student cool enough to venture 30 yards off campus can sympathize with inconvenient train delays and the lack of underground transportation in the West Village. So next time you’re mad at the F train (the F-ing train? No?), chill out, and check Fake MTA for snarky delays and service warnings.

Sample Tweet: The 6 train is running off schedule, due to its weekly Hurricane Irene PTSD therapy session.

3. Joan Torch (Facebook)

You know her as the face of the NYU Card (or maybe you don’t, but you should), and now she’s taking on Facebook. Always on the lookout for her NYU kiddies (her words, not mine), Joan is like an overprotective parent decked out in NYU apparel who also really wants you to use Campus Cash.

Sample Status: I’m so nervous about classes starting tomorrow! Upperclassmen, if freshmen ask you directions, plz don’t send them in the wrong direction (unless ur sending them to a ¢ampu$ ¢a$h merchant location!)

2. Fake NYU Local (@FakeNYULocal)

I don’t know if as a Local writer I’m supposed to love or hate Fake NYU Local, but its hashtag-happy tweets and references to Brad’s are often on target and pretty funny. Complete with jabs at WSN and a nearly-hipster music vocabulary, Fake NYU Local is almost as good as the real thing. Almost.

Sample Tweet: This would be the optimal time to make those last minute adjustments to your web presence before classes start. #freshmen

1. NYU Girl Problems (@nyugirlproblems)

Living in the city and therefore constantly negotiating the walk to class with less-than-comfortable footwear, we NYU girls have to stick together. Enter nyugirlproblems, which consistently straddles the line between mildly bitchy and exactly-what-you-were-thinking.

Sample Tweet: 2015, walk faster. #nyugirlproblems

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