I woke up this morning sure that someone had removed Gmail and Analytics from bookmarks as part of  an elaborate conspiracy to ruin my life.

And then the fully conscious me remembered my Google-free oath of the night before. It was kind of like waking up a little drunk next to some really hairy guy and wondering in horror what you’ve done Candy download. Except that agreeing to eschew Google for a week probably won’t give you chlamydia.

It did, however, result in the following things by the end of day 1:

3- Attempts to switch my iphone incoming mail to NYU before giving up in a fit of rage.

4- Number of letters in the word “fuck,” which I used aloud during seven different Yahoo! searches. Goes to show that Yahoo! is both inferior to Google search and likely a cause of tourettes.

9- Number of Google logos I saw today without ever actually using Google myself.  Turning my back on those loopy, colorful letters made me feel like the proverbial fat kid walking away from a German chocolate layer cake.

25- Minutes wasted finding email addresses via NYU Home, Facebook and my phone book when I could have just typed one or two letters into my Gmail address box before being provided with said email addresses, practically on a silver platter.

2- Number of “hilarious” YouTube videos a friend linked me to, openly assaulting what little resolve I have.

Without a doubt- Answer to the following question: In a cage fight, would Gmail bite off NYU mail’s ear, eat it and then proceed to beat the site into a bloody pulp?

Photo: Flickr courtesy of Bibifoc.