It’s the G-Man! G. Gordon Liddy, the bald-headed, syndicated satellite radio show host with 9 felonies to his record and almost no conscience. Oh, and did I forget to mention, he’s also the  mastermind, super-plotter, corrupt politician extraordinaire behind the Watergate scandal? The dude basically wrote the handbook on how to capitalize on post-media humiliation. Take notes NYU-ers because this man, often referred to as a “political monster” or “right-winged Nazi” (just a few of the nicer names I found on the internet), manipulated his role in arguably the greatest American political scandal to date, served some subsequent jail time, and now enjoys a prosperous career in the entertainment biz. Only in America, I guess.

Yesterday, the G-Man magically appeared (via satellite radio) in Mitchell Stephens’ Foundations in Journalism 11 a.m. lecture. A corrupt conservative rant before my morning coffee? Why not? The G-Man was kind enough to answer a few selected questions from my fellow classmates who, by the way, just finished reading All the Presidents Men. Needless to say, Liddy doesn’t exactly appear as a war hero by the end of Woodward and Bernstein’s famous exposé.

Among some of the highlights were when Liddy was asked if he had any suspicions when Mark Felt was revealed as Woodward and Bernstein’s top-secret sournce, “Deep Throat.” Liddy responded by saying that they all pretty much knew it was Felt the whole time. Do you buy that? Sounds like some serious pride right there. But even the G-Man couldn’t hold in his giggles at the very clever play on words: “Deep Throat.”

The next question was a little ballsier. The student asked Liddy if he ever feels ashamed that all of his success stems from his role in this political scandal. To that, Liddy gave a simple response, “No,” claiming that Watergate was an “accident in history to which [he] came into notoriety.” An “accident”? The G-Man sure knows how to put a spin on things.

Transitioning into the current election (couldn’t you guess that was next?), Liddy was asked how he thought the media would respond if something like Watergate were to occur during a hypothetical Obama administration. In true conservative fashion, Liddy exclaimed that such a scandal would be made much less of a big deal during an Obama administration than a McCain one. I guess he was trying to drive home the point that we exist in an elite liberal media. Thank God for that.

Continuing with the Obama bashing, Liddy exclaimed that if Obama wins the upcoming election, the American people will inevitably transform from an independent people to a dependent one, echoing the widely conservative fear of America as a welfare state. Because poor people receiving help is definitely something to fear. Somebody, alert the church elders!

Liddy pretty much blew off the question I was really wondering about when asked how he responds to counter attacks from Obama’s campaign about his relationship with Bill Ayers, by pointing out McCain’s relationship with the Liddy himself. And then he really grossed me out when he exclaimed, “I have 9 felonies on my record,” and then laughed at some hate mail that called him a “Nixon puppet.” He definitely lived up to the prick we all thought he would be.

Appropriately enough, one of the last questions asked was how Liddy thought the 2008 election could be tampered with, seeing as he has some knowledge in that department. Simple answer: “Voter fraud.” Lets keep that in mind when we go to the voting booths next week. Peace out, G-Man.