50 Wonderful, Horrible, And Ridiculous Things Your NYU Tuition Has Funded

Whether you’re thinking about heading to NYU or you can’t wait to get the heck out of here, one thing’s for sure–tuition ain’t cheap. Here are some of the perks and pitfalls that show how your $60K a year gets put to use.

1. Face time with Alec Baldwin
2. Summer homes for NYU executives
3. A class taught by Jonathan Safran Foer or Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown or Richard Florida or Questlove or even John Sexton
4. The chance to get called a “little shit” by James Franco
5. Face time with Martin Scorsese
6. IRHC’s Flurry at Wollman Rink
7. The IRHC closet stuffed with candy and miscellaneous costumes
8. The IRHC Housie costume
9. Free meals during Hurricane Sandy
10. A free crash pad during Hurricane Sandy
11. A school-wide party during Hurricane Sandy (including a man on stilts and cardboard cutouts of Barack Obama)
12. At least one cheap wine and cheddar cheese event per weeknight
13. Semesterly NYU Albert meltdowns
14. NYU Classes/ATLAS/Blackboard
15. The Leslie eLab for entrepreneurs
16. Free trips to NYU Washington D.C. through Wasserman
17. All those honors program trips you were never eligible for
18. All those student government trips that you were never popular enough for
19. An awards venue for Justin Bieber and Psy during the TriBeCa Film Festival
20. Stern business cards
21. Stern juniors’ schnockered spring break trip
22. The ability to email John Sexton and meet with him for personal advice
23. Free or reduced entry to some of the sickest Broadway shows and pro-league games
24. Bunnies and puppies during Stressbusters
25. Free pregnancy tests from the Student Health Center
26. Cheap trashbags, condoms, and toilet paper for days
27. A view of the Empire State Building from your freshman dorm room window
28. A view of a brick wall from your sophomore dorm room window
29. A residence hall that’s a block away from maid cafe AND a penitentiary
30. Zachary Harrell (a.k.a. the Welcome Week mastermind)’s salary
31. Class visits from Lenny Kaye, Howard Dean, Chris Matthews, Luke Russert, and Nobel Prize winners
32. Those plastic purple accordion folders that only get used for your Writing the Essay portfolios
33. Writing the Essay
34. Lux photography prints for Gallatin students
35. An entire school within the university that basically lets you create your own curriculum
36. The ridiculously well-run HashtagNYU campaign
37. A video game lounge
38. Those blindless windows in the bathrooms at 20 Cooper where everyone in the building across can see you pee
39. #SelfiesWithSexton
40. All that free freshmen swag
41. A Yankee Stadium and Radio City Music Hall send-off
42. Safe Ride parties
43. The million-and-one DURF research studies that lead to nothing productive
44. Study away sites on every continent except Antarctica
45. NYU 2031
46. Deerhunter and Explosions in the Sky concerts
47. The Institute for Public Knowledge
48. Ari Lipsitz’s upcoming bestseller
49. Those MTV-Video-Music-Awards-worthy Welcome Week videos
50. Drake

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  1. says

    Yeah, a lot of this stuff isn’t actually funded by tuition. University administration is not a matter of tuition money all going in one big pot to be distributed to either financial aid or nothing else. It comes from all over: tuition, sure, but also alumni, donors, and more complex endowments. These listicles are funny but they don’t help anyone understand how their tuition is actually being used.