Last Minute Digital Gifts You Can Buy Without Going Outside, You Lazy Bastard

Shops are getting crowded, shipping estimates are growing and your patience is running low. Holiday shopping is just too much work, people. Whether you’re just now realizing you forgot to gather Hanukkah gifts or you’re shuffling to find quick buys for the holiday season, you’re in luck: all of these gifts can be secured instantly from the comfort of your ass. We recommend writing the gift on a Post-It and placing it an enormous box. Holiday lolz are the best.

Sweet Stuff On A Schedule – Most of these sites have an easy-to-use gifting center so you can prepay for a subscription. Just give your friend the authorization code and they can redeem it on their own. There’s no time stamp, so they’ll never know you bought it hours prior. You so sneaky!

  1. RocksBox is a dreamy combination of Netflix, Pandora, Rent The Runway and your neighborhood jewelry store. After completing a short style profile, stylists will send them a box of jewelry to try. They can keep the pieces for up to 60 days or return the box as often as they’d like to get a refresh of new jewelry to try. If they fall in love with anything, they can keep it for 20% off retail. [$19/mo.]
  2. ManPacks is the perfect gift-slash-take-a-hint for a special man in your life. Every three months, they’ll receive a box containing their favorite men’s essentials, including razors, underwear, socks, condoms, etc. [Price varies.]
  3. BirchBox is a monthly grab bag of sample-sized grooming products for women and men. Their curators put together an impressive monthly selection of high-end makeup, lotions, soaps, accessories and more. If you like what you try, it’s easy to buy the full-size versions. [$20/mo.]
  4. Pairings Box comes from the smart folks at Turntable Kitchen. Each month they send a limited-edition vinyl, dried ingredients, recipies, treats, a digital mixtape and suggestions on how to pair your new music and food. [$25/mo.]
  5. Déjåmor is the steamy sex box for that inseperable couple in your life. Monthly deliveries contain seperate His and Her (sorry gays!) boxes with sensual surprises like bubble bath solution, panties, rose pedals and maybe even a mini harp attached to a tiny little Taiwanese lady. Who knows? [$29-$38/mo.]

Media – Like the delivery subscriptions, these typically output authorization codes.

  1. Music: If you’re sick of hearing Pandora commercials from your roommate’s speakers, kill two birds with one stone with a 1-year subscription to Pandora One. [$36/yr.] For the bigger music fans, get ‘em hooked on Rdio or Spotify. [both $5-$10/mo.]
  2. Movies: There are about six people left in the world without posession of someone else’s Netflix password, but it’s always nice to have your own account for the personalized reccomendations and saved humility. Don’t forget the Arrested Development resurrection is coming exclusively to Netflix in 2013! [$8/mo.] Serious movie buffs deserve the original DVD/Blu-Ray-by-mail service. [$8-$16/mo.]
  3. TV: The ugly beast that is Hulu Plus exists, and that’s all we’re willing to say about it. [$8/mo.]

Anti-Climactic Gifts They’ll Never Touch

  1. Adopt a llama, monkey, komodo dragon, Nemo, platypus or whatever in their name.
  2. For that friend that loves Winnie The Pooh, why not adopt a bee hive?
  3. Adopt a NYC tree. (They might touch this.)
  4. A full-length digital download (NSFW) from the studio that brought you viral sensation 2 Girls 1 Cup. (God-willing they will not touch or watch this.)


2 Comments

  • Joaquin Godoy
    December 7, 2012

    SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A PANDA.

  • Peter S
    December 7, 2012

    How about journalism? You could get them a digital subscription to a paper like the Times or a magazine like the New Yorker?

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