Here at NYU Local, we like football. Seriously, we do. We like it so much that we can’t stop talking about it, especially on the Interwebs. Now, we’re bringing it to you. Welcome to Gridiron Gchat with Jeremy and Eric.
Eric: Jeremy, it is 5 o’clock. It’s time we show NYU that we like sports.
Jeremy: haha oh yea this should be good
Eric: I’m a little scared. I want my Tisch friends to talk to me again.
Jeremy: I think they’ll accept you back; you might have to write some alt-lit poetry first
Eric: That is def a fair trade off.
Eric: Did you watch the game last night? Giants vs. Cowboys. A perfect way to start the season: Super Bowl Champs and a really old Texan who gets gets his glasses cleaned by other men.
Jeremy: Definitely not the way the defending champs wanted to start off the year, but I think that Giants’ fans shouldn’t be too concerned; week 1 can always be difficult with players getting used to new offensive and defensive schemes. They still have most of the team coming back and Eli Manning at QB
Jeremy: But I will never get over that goofy look Eli’s always got on his face; I can never take him seriously
Eric: Exactly. Eli looks like a younger brother. I want to give him a wedgie right now.
Eric: Props to new fantasy football darling Kevin Ogletree, who caught 2 touchdowns in the last game. I think he’s now owned in 98% of leagues
Jeremy: Ogletree is the perfect example of fans overreacting to week 1. Give him a couple more weeks of this before I want him on my fantasy team.
Eric: Nothing more fun for Cowboys fans than calling “SUPER BOWL 2013,” only in about four weeks Tony Romo breaks his beautiful, beautiful face and they end up below .500.
Jeremy: Enough of all this New York bias though, lets move on to our picks for the weekend. First off, Atlanta at Kansas City at 1 PM. Who you got?
Eric: Although I want to believe in Matt Cassel, the little quarterback that could, I gotta go Falcons
Eric: With Julio Jones and Roddy White flying all over the mediocre Cheifs D, there’s no way they can lose
Jeremy: Yea definitely going with the Falcons here, the Iceman himself Matt Ryan is going places this year with that good of a receiver corp.
Eric: also, Matt Ryan has the broiest nickname of all time (MATTY ICE!). He can’t lose. Bros don’t lose at anything
Eric: Next game, Eagles-Browns. Michael Vick’s extremely breakable body vs …the Browns
Eric: your pick, good sir?
Jeremy: God this game sounds terrible. You’ve got a team full of overhyped players versus perennial losers. Definitely skipping this one. But I’d have to go with the Eagles. Vick is way too big of an injury concern, and once you take him out of the equation the Eagles’ offense becomes a lot more one-dimensional.
Eric: You’d have to pay me to pick the Browns in any game. Their chances this year are so slim, it hurts me.
Jeremy: I mean it’s pretty hard to motivate people with the wonder and beauty that is Cleveland, Ohio
Eric: And they have such great promo videos
Eric: Unless Brandon Weeden turns out to be the Terminator and the O-line has been replaced by the MonStars from Space Jam, they got nothing
Jeremy: Next game, Redskins vs. Saints. The Saints’ offseason was about as bad it could get, but they definitely deserved all the punishment. I mean when you have a bounty system targeting specific players, wiretapping other teams offices, and contract difficulties with potentially the best QB in the game, its no surprise that owner Tom Benson decided to buy the New Orleans Hornets to get away from it all.
Eric: Sometimes, the best way out is just go do a different sport.
Eric: But seriously, are you going to pick against the Saints? Drew Brees is still Drew Brees, and I bet he ran all of the practices, drills, and late night smores making sessions during the off season. I’m taking Saints in a statement game, and all touchdown dances are just staring in Commissioner Roger Goodell’s eyes for at least five seconds
Jeremy: Ummm… you forgot the Redskins drafted Robert Griffin III. RG3 could be one of the most dynamic QBs in the game, and I actually think the Saints controversy might be so much of a headache that the Redskins could come in and upset New Orleans.
Eric: I’m still taking the Saints.
Eric: Speaking of rookie quarterbacks who are younger than me and will make more money than I ever will in my entire life, Andrew Luck is starting for the first time against Da Bears.
Jeremy: Andrew Luck is such a boss. Seriously he looks and sounds like some country bumpkin, but then you find out he was the valedictorian of his high school and majored in architecture at Stanford. This kid just does not make sense
Jeremy: But the Bears are a much more well-rounded team and if Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall jell well together, they could have a big impact on the playoffs. I’ve got the Bears.
Eric: I just want Andrew Luck to do good things in his life. And, although the Colts were TERRIBLE, last season, they seem itching to win one for the new kids. Don’t forget they still have Dwight Freeney and a half-decent offensive line. I’m taking the Colts.
Jeremy: Risky pick there. The Colts will definitely need a miracle. Speaking of miracles (see what I did there?) Tim Tebow brings his magic Christian powers to the Jets this season, and they start off against Buffalo at home.
Eric: HA. I do.
Eric: First of all, there is this picture. I have never seen a scarier clown than Rex Ryan Clown
Eric: The Jets are my NY team, but one touchdown in the entire preseason is just sad. It wasn’t even Tebow or Mark Sanchez, but the 3rd string QB, Brett Ratliff
Eric: On the other hand, Bills QB (and Harvard grad) Ryan Fitzpatrick score touchdowns much more regularly, and the Bills just picked up former #1 pick Mario Williams, who will finally give them some much needed boost on D.
Eric: As much as I hate to say it, I’m taking the Bills. The Tebow/Ryan sideshow is too distracting, and the way the Jets are playing, they deserve to lose.
Eric: also, REX RYAN CLOWN.
Eric: LOOK AT IT. IT WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS.
Jeremy: Well, I’m not going to sleep ever again. But I agree with you on this one, I’m going with the Bills. Even if Tebow and Sanchez can get over their issues, who are they going to throw to? They’ve got Santonio Holmes, and then…Stephen Hill? No first year wide receiver does well, especially someone who has only played in very specific non-NFL offenses like Hill has.
Eric: whatever happened to Jericho Cotchery? Loved that guy.
Jeremy: I have no idea. Alright this is taking way to long, and I’m pretty sure the average NYU student stopped reading about 200 words ago, so here are the games we know that NOBODY cares about; Minnesota beats Jacksonville, Tampa Bay beats Carolina, Houston beats Miami, Detroit beats St. Louis, and Seattle beats Arizona. Now let’s move onto talking about the one and only Tom Brady, who is probably still depressed about last year’s Superbowl. I can still hear the Fuck Tom Brady! chants from Union Square last year.
Eric: Boom. Got that out of the way. I care about Jacksonville…jokes
Eric: UGH. Thomas Brady. The man who has everything: supermodel wife, actress baby mama, UGGs spokesman
Eric: Also, he’s won THREE SUPER BOWLS
Eric: Hate that guy.
Jeremy: But he is married to Gisele Bundchen, thus he is greater than all of us, right?
Eric: This is true.
Eric: You know what? I’m going against him. I’m taking the Titans. The 31st ranked D in the league is just the place to get Jake Locker his confidence in the pocket, and maybe Chris Johnson will remember how amazing he is at football a few years ago.
Jeremy: Well I’m definitely not going that far. When you have Gronk and Hernandez, two of the best Tight Ends in the NFL, on one team, you are pretty much unstoppable. Moving on, my San Francisco 49ers open up against the Green Bay Packers, and of course I’m going with the Niners.
Jeremy: We’re winning this one, and then we’re winning the Super Bowl. Isn’t blind faith great?
Eric: hahaha, it is a wonderful thing. That’s how I got through Nat Sci I on Friday mornings.
Eric: I like the Niners too. They might actually have the defense to make Aaron Rodgers question themselves. And, big secret, the Packers don’t really have a good running game.
Eric: They’ll be able to capitalize on the 1 dimensional O, and bring one home to the Bay for Jeremy
Eric: alright, time for my own blind faith. Sunday night game, Steelers vs. Broncos. How are you going to pick against a team that was in the Dark Knight Rises?!
Eric: You can’t. Steelers win.
Jeremy: Yes I can, and its because of one man; PEYTON, PEYTON, PEYTON. I am totally drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, I think he is going to play great there, the system is being tailored for him and he seems like he is healed from his neck surgery.
Eric: Bahhhh. I don’t trust anyone who cant read something if you hold it a little bit to the side of their head.
Jeremy: Alright well I need to go find free drinks at Fashion’s Night Out, so let’s quickly finish it off here with our Monday Night Picks. I’ve got Baltimore over Cincinnati by a landslide, and Oakland over San Diego.
Eric: I’m hoping for Oakland. I just want the Raiders to be good again. Win Baby Win.
Eric: Also, the Ravens are old. Taking Cincy instead
Eric: Go get drunk with fashionable ladies
Eric: Do it for Clown Rex Ryan
Jeremy: Oh dear god… Clown Rex Ryan…