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/ April 25, 2012
Here Are Four Possible Running-Mates For Mitt Romney

You might know Mitch Daniels, the Governor of Indiana. If you were watching President Obama’s last State of the Union address, he was the guy that came on after to deliver the Republican response. While most viewers turned on “Big Bang Theory” and fell asleep instantaneously, Daniels kicked off the serious speech with a serious shout-out: “Greetings from the home of Super Bowl XLVI!” Yeah, he’s that guy and, this Sunday, he became the most humble man in American politics.

With a wide range of knowledge on “global problems” and playoff sports, Daniels naturally found himself on top of conservative talking heads’ lists for possible Romney sidekicks. But, on “Fox News Sunday,” the head-honcho of the Hoosiers let down the political soothsayers. In a demonstration of spot-on logic that all college grads should follow, Daniels told audiences nationwide that he would one-up Romney by sending him a list of people who would be better at the job than he would.

He bowed out before he bowed in – he sent the employer his favorite applicants before even being granted an interview. At NYU Local, we commend that attitude, so, Mr. Daniels, let us offer you a helping hand:

Rep. John Boehner (The Human): As the purveyor of the “Do Nothing Congress,” the 61st Speaker of the House knows a thing or two about keeping his cool. He can shed a tear quicker than we can snap our fingers, especially while listening to happy Irish music or reminiscing about being a child barback. And he also has a tan line that sets him apart from his fellow extremely white GOPers. This is exactly what the candidate needs to battle naysayers: Boehner’s outrageously human flare could help Romney shake the criticism of his being a robotic rich guy.

A Homeless Person (The 99 Percent): On that 1% note, Romney could really flip off everyone who thought he didn’t “care” about the very poor by choosing this candidate. Creating the oddest economic power duo in recent history, the Republican ticket would single-handedly capture the entire financial spectrum of our country and Romney/Panhandler could run on the whole “separate but totally equal” message. All he needs to do is go for a stroll down Rodeo Drive, or wherever rich people take walks, and pick up the first person that asks him for a nickel: “No, I can’t give you any change, but how about the Vice Presidency of the United States of America?”

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani (The Cleaner): If Romney doesn’t want to go the homeless direction, he can go for the complete opposite. Even though they were exchanging fighting words four years ago, “America’s Mayor” recently endorsed Romney for the Presidency. Coincidentally, the two are very similar: Romney took over companies and made hundreds, if not thousands, of workers vanish at Bain Capital; Giuliani did the same thing with New York City and its homeless population.

Captain America (The Patriot): The name of Romney’s last book was “No Apology: The Case for American Greatness.” In it, he promises the American people that he would never “say sorry” for the actions of our nation like a damn coward. Who epitomizes this mentality more than the red-white-and-blue superhero? And have you seen the trailer for The Avengers yet? No apologies there. Not one.

As HBO mentioned, the 2008 election was a “game change” for running-mates. The McCain Train was one of the first campaigns in recent memory to be partly derailed by whom he chose to be second-in-command. John’s inability to vet Sarah Barracuda unleashed speculation on everything else he did that involved some sort of decision-making skill. And national attention shifted away from his policies on the deteriorating economy to what newspapers, or lack thereof, the possible VP was reading every morning.

The Romney tent is entering uncharted territory – his choice will be the first post-Palin experiment for the GOP. And what a legacy that is to inherit. With that being said, he really needs to knock this one out of the park.