Last week was a “big gay week” for same-sex marriage. We reported on recent marriage equality votes in Washington, New Jersey, and Maryland, and found that 2011-2012 seems to be a promising season for gay rights. As it already stands, gay marriage is legal in New York, and cannot be deemed illegal in California—important progress for two states with large LGBTQ demographics.

But what about the discrepancies that still exist between the rights of same-sex married couples and those of their hetero counterparts? Because “gay marriage,” petitioned for by activists and citizens is innately unequal by law to the idea of “marriage” that exists instead.

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), passed in 1996, defines marriage as “a legal union between a man and a woman.” Section three of the statute (which is enforced nationally) specifically distinguishes between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples, stating that only the latter can receive federal recognition (be able to file insurance benefits for government employees, for example, or access joint tax-filing privileges).

Thanks to the DOMA, same-sex marriage is still relegated to a lower status than opposite-sex marriage. The accessibility of marriage benefits does not seem to be proportionally widening as perceptions of marriage grow and change.

Last week the Attorney General Eric Holder wrote a letter to Speaker of the House John Boehner, notifying him of the Executive Branch’s position on the matter: quite unconstitutional. Holder’s letter also articulated the Justice department’s position, relative to most recent news concerning the U.S. Military’s approach to gay marriage: depriving gay veterans of spousal benefits.

Veterans have been protesting for a long time, and now the Servicemembers Legal Network has successfully filed a federal lawsuit (McLaughlin v. Panetta) in an effort to equalize marriage, in terms of eligible benefits. McLaughlin could undo the sections of the military code that prohibit same-sex spouses from receiving benefits, not the to mention the DOMA in its entirety.

The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a long time coming. Some argue that the military is making strides in the areas of gay rights by way of generally acknowledging them. More and more states are passing marriage freedom acts, allowing same-sex couples the choice to  move from “partner” status to that of “spouse.”

But this all means nothing if one spouse isn’t the same as another, if a lesbian army wife is not the same as a straight one. The country needs to solidify and equalize the benefits that come with marriage: in the military, in the workplace, in every nook and cranny of the national psyche.

After all, it would be a pity if we grant all Americans the choice to marry, only to later replace “gay marriage” slogans with new ones like “marriage equality.”

(Image via)