Srsly, this guy won’t die. You may have heard about his stint as a war reporter last month, but there’s bigger and better news for Joe (Samuel). He’s become a political adviser for the Republican party! Woo-hoo!

Somehow the GOP has allowed this fake-named non-plumber to hop aboard their already sinking ship. Hey, Republicans, let me be a political adviser: having people like Samuel Wurzelbacher around destroys any chance of your party being taken seriously ever even just a little bit. Consider these gems from his first advice session today:

“I don’t believe there’s two sides to every story. It’s black and white. There’s right and wrong.” Cue Katy Perry.

“I don’t know if the American public deserve me.” Just let that settle in. So good. Sooo good.