National - by Charlie Eisenhood on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 16:40 - 5 Comments - 19 views
Oh, Sarah Palin. Your eloquence is (literally) music to our ears. It’s a real shame you won’t be joining us as vice president. You could serenade us every day. But don’t let your mandate-sized defeat get you down. We Americans all want you to stay around – I’m already thinking 2012. But if Republicans decide they don’t want you (they are already saying they don’t – but Romney? Really?), we know what you can do!
First, sort those clothes! It must be hard going through $150,000+ worth of sweet duds, but it’s only fair. It could really hurt your credibility. You need to put on some overalls and shoot a moose, get back that “I’m one of you” vibe. (And you have to shoot it from the ground, by the way).
Next, become a TV star! Producers are already talking about you getting something “ranging from an Oprah-style syndicated talk show to a Sean Hannity-like perch in cable news or on radio.” This would be an ideal platform for you to keep us posted on Bristol’s baby and Todd’s snowmobile championships (which is really awesome, actually).
No matter what you do, don’t slide into obscurity. We need you, Sarah. We need your wise words and sweet hairdo. And, most of all, Tina Fey needs material. Don’t let her down.
5 Comments
frank burns
Who says the Sarah/Bristol pregnancy triangle rumors were false? Where is Bristol’s alleged pregnancy now?
frank burns
Sarah always ways to look at her medical records about the pregnancy, but obviously, with the delivery taking place in that out-of-the-way clinic, her doctor would have had to have been in on the scheme in the beginning,. No doubt a close famliy friend.
Frank–
Regardless of the veracity of those rumors, you’re not going to see any posts on them while I’m the editor of this section. I’m not going to participate in smearing the reputation of a 17 year-old girl, regardless of who her mother is.
miley you rock and all of you guys are just jealous because she is famous and you are not so shut the hell up!!!
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