Tuesday Track: “Last Christmas”

Last Christmas, when one rogue Tuesday Tracker decided she was “doing things a little differently,” we featured Wham!‘s late twentieth century masterwork “Last Christmas” as an extra seasonal Tuesday Track.  This year, to save you from tears, rather than tell you about  a song you’ve never heard of, we’re reminding you of a song that no one in the history of music has ever gotten sick of: Wham!‘s late twentieth century masterwork “Last Christmas.” (!!!)

As the awkwardly alcoholic Holiday music critic Chelsea Beeler once wrote, “Sure, this ‘80s classic may have been released before any of us were born, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all get drunk and slowly rock back and forth when some kid throws this track on at a holiday party.” If that’s not the spirit of Christmas, then what is?!?

Released in December of 1984 by the short-lived pop duo comprised of George Michael and his high school friend Andrew Ridgeley, “Last Christmas” peaked at #2 on the UK singles chart, second only to Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?,” which was produced to raise money for the famine in Ethiopia. While Wham!’s single never reached number one on the UK charts, Michael, in response to rumors that he was collaborating with an anti-Christmas faction, donated all of the “Last Christmas” royalties to Band Aid.

A smash hit in its own day, Michael and Ridgeley could have never guessed that less than twenty years later, their magnum opus would become the soundtrack for The Last Christmas Ever.

Although Christmas is supposed to be about giving, a horde of plagiarizing pop artists have done nothing but take, shamelessly ripping off Wham!’s most holy hit again and again in what they call “cover versions.” Because hardly any of these chumps have come anywhere close to the divinity of the original “Last Christmas,” no mention of them will be made outside of this list of them from Wikipedia for any curious sinners.

Remarkably, the most honorable cover version of “Last Christmas” is not mentioned at all on Wikipedia’s list, most likely due to interference by anti-Santa government hackers. Released in 2011, Baby J’s “Last Christmas” from the critically acclaimed The Livest XXXMas Mixtape, Vol. 1is required listening for anyone considering posting a cover of “Last Christmas” to the Internet.

Merry Christmas!

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