Comedies in the ’90s were often underdog stories. Stars like Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler popularized the awkward-but-good-natured protagonist, who nearly always faced adversity in the form of a smarmy, hair gel-ridden bigwig who wanted to “harsh their mellow.” Sound like anyone you know? How about the man who ran Bain Capital and recently declared that 47% of Americans are “unwilling to take responsibility for their lives,” aka our dear friend Mitt Romney? Here are five bad guys from the ’90s that bear striking similarities to the Republican Presidential Candidate.
1. Matthew Glave as Glenn Guglia in The Wedding Singer

Drew Barrymore’s fiancee is a wealthy businessman who works long hours in the city and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about those who are less fortunate than he. Case in point: Before sucker-punching Adam Sandler outside of a bar, Guglia calls him a “poor singing orphan.” The shame!

The Romney Connection:
Mitt Romney is a wealthy businessman who worked in the financial industry and doesn’t give a solitary shit about those who are less fortunate than he. Case in point: This January, Mitt dropped the ball on the extremely impoverished, saying, “I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there.” Isn’t that like applying to be a school principal and telling the superintendent that you don’t want to help the kids who are failing their classes? In both cases, there’s a very slim chance that the candidate will get the job.

2. Bradley Whitford as Eric Gordon in Billy Madison
Speaking of kids failing school, Sandler’s protagonist in Billy Madison struggles with the task of completing K-12 in order to inherit the family business from his wealthy dad. Though Mitt is also the benefactor of a successful father, his doppelgänger in this film is Eric, Billy’s dad’s right-hand man. In the final scene of an academic decathlon, Eric fails to answer a question about “Business Ethics” correctly, showing that despite his prowess in the professional world, he is an ethic-less shitbag.

The Romney Connection:
As CEO of Bain Capital, Romney oversaw 77 corporate buyouts of other businesses. 22% of these resulted in the a declaration of bankruptcy from the bought company, and subsequently the laying off of roughly 1700 people (source). Business skills? Yes. Business Ethics? Nope.

3. Charles Rocket as Nicholas Andre in Dumb and Dumber
The mastermind of the central ransom plot in Dumb and Dumber is Andre, an Aspen socialite whose nefarious actions are unbeknownst to the kidnapped man’s family, mostly because Andre pretends to care about them. Note the look on his face (below) when he discovers that his ransom money has been replaced with “I.O.U.” notes.

The Romney Connection:
Ok so maybe he wouldn’t kidnap anyone, but I’d like to believe that Mitt would have a reaction similar to Andre if he discovered that all of his Super PAC money suddenly vanished.

4. Pierce Brosnan as Stu Dunmeyer in Mrs. Doubtfire
In Mrs Doubtfire, Brosnan fully embraces the sleaziness that makes him such an unbearable Bond. He tries to get with Sally Field while Robin Williams clowns around acting like an old British nanny. In the end, Sally realizes that the nanny is actually RobWill and dumps Pierce.

The Romney Connection:
The hair. Furthermore, imagine an updated version of Mrs. Doubtfire set in a dystopian 2016. Sally Field, as America, is lamenting choosing Romney (played by Brosnan) as her suitor in 2012. Meanwhile, a mysterious new candidate has emerged to oppose Romney’s reelection bid. She’s a sassy, no-nonsense nanny from the British isles who, oddly enough, knows exactly how to please Ms. Field. When this nanny wins the election, she whips off her mask and we realize that it is really Barack Obama, played by Robin Williams. Obama pulls a Grover Cleveland and serves nonconsecutive terms. It works, right? Kinda?

5. Rob Lowe as Benjamin Kane in Wayne’s World
In Wayne’s World, Rob Lowe plays the ultimate sleazeball: a businessman looking to profit off of talented artists’ work. He seeks to buy the rights to Wayne and Garth’s public access show and then exploit them, culminating in the removal of Wayne from his own show. He also tries to get with Wayne’s “mega babe.”

The Romney Connection:
As we pointed out earlier this month, Romney wants to kill funding for non-commercial television channels such as PBS. Without this funding, shows such as Sesame Street, Arthur, and yes, Wayne’s World, would not exist. This actually puts Romney a few echelons higher than Benjamin Kane on the douchebag scale. What a psycho hose beast.

Despite all these similarities, we still think that the 90s character Romney most closely resembles is a protagonist.

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