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/ September 28, 2011
Drunk Sober High: The New East Village IHOP Err We Mean BaoHaus

NYU Local decided to bring back the series Drunk Sober High after a summer hiatus (our bodies needed a tolerance break). For those new to the concept – we send three staff members to events under the three eponymous states of mind. Afterwards, the writers answer questions about the event with the goal that a critical perspective emerges from the combination of their responses.

This week’s Drunk, Sober and High volunteers attempted to go to the new IHOP that opened on 14th street, but got distracted by a restaurant across called Baohaus. A Bao is a pillowy bun with various meat and vegetable fill-ins. It’s like a Vietnamese take on the taco or pita. In other words: Bao’s are one of the most delicious snacks ever created. Ever.

The little food-stop ended up being a big party. The staff brought the Local staffers some food on the house (without our discussing the article) and the atmosphere was lively. Great music, funny wall art, and fantastic aromas guaranteed a positive experience that IHOP could not match. No one had to feel guilty about clogging his or her arteries, too.

What’s your favorite muchie snack? Drunchie snack? Sober snack?

Drunk: Pizza. No matter the state of mind. Preferably Joe’s or Two Bros.

Sober: Fruit. And fried cheesecake.

High: My favorite munchie snack is a rainbow Rice Krispie Treat. So sweet and perfect.


What state of mind were you under? Why did you choose that state?

Drunk: I was drunk because I like getting drunk. Spices things up a bit, usually.

Sober: I was arguably sober. Didn’t choose this state – I showed up late.

High: I chose to be high because I really love to eat pancakes when I’m high.


Have you ever been to IHOP before? Do you like the chain restaurant?

Drunk: Yes I’ve been to IHOP before. It’s OK.

Sober: No, but their advertising may or may not have sparked my curiosity.

High: I’ve been to IHOP countless times before. Who doesn’t love IHOP?


What were your expectations of the new IHOP?

Drunk: I had pretty high expectations going in. I wanted dope pancakes at low prices with ridiculous toppings and a hot waitress.

Sober: Sticky surfaces, screaming children.

High: I expected It to be super crowded and I thought it would have really good high food.


What did you plan on ordering?

Drunk: Pancakes, bitch! Maybe with some eggs and bacon, maybe not.

Sober: Frenchtoast. Just playin’ – chocolate chip pancakes.

High: I planned on getting my standard order of chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and a side of bacon. Then I put everything on top of the pancakes and drizzle strawberry syrup on top. Get ready to get your head blown off.


Did the nutritional info affect your mindset going into the experience?

Drunk: Haha no. I didn’t even know it existed. Why would anyone want to read that? Just eat the pancakes.

Sober: My parents work in the fitness industry so I felt guilty! It would break their hearts to hear that I went.

High: It’s IHOP, if you wanted healthy pancakes go to Quantum Leap or something.


Why didn’t you end up at IHOP?

Drunk: Well, as I remember it, we were about to go in but it seemed like there was a bouncer and a decent sized group of people waiting for a table and they were all looking at us strange. That place did not seem chill, not at all. The interior looked like the lobby of a Best Western. Not an appetizing environment.

Sober: Drunk impulsiveness and Baohaus sounded more interesting.

High: There was a wait – I think? Plus Baohaus’ glowing blue sign caught my eye and I couldn’t say no.


What makes Baohaus more appealing than IHOP?

Drunk: I had heard that it was dope, and then when I saw the light blue neon sign out front it was a wrap. I was like a fly floating helplessly toward the light.

Sober: I love dumpling-related things.

High: The food is a million times better. Plus they have really good music. One time they played “We Major”when I walked in and I had the chillest meal ever.


What did you order at Baohaus?

Drunk: I got a Chairman Bao [pork belly] and something else I can’t remember what it was called. I don’t even remember what was in it actually, but holy cow was it delicious. That place is the real deal. I also got some kind of Peppercorn fries or something [Taro fries] and the dude hooked us up with extra fries, presumptively because we were so visibly fucked up.

Sober: A Chariman Bao based on the clever title.

High: I ordered the Birdhouse Bao [fried chicken] and the Haus Bao [beef cheek].


Do you think it’s best to eat Bao while Drunk, Sober or High? Why?

Drunk: Probably high. I wish I remembered it more. All I know is it was absolutely incredible.

Sober High, without doubt. I like messier foods when I’m drunk.

High: High. There’s no better high food than a soft bao.


How many Bao’s could you eat in one sitting?

Drunk: I would probably be full after about three or four but I could easily wolf down a dozen of those bad boys. That shit is so fucking good.

Sober: Modest guess: a baker’s dozen.

High: A milli.


What makes the atmosphere of Baohaus so appealing?

Drunk: Chillin bros, chill tuneskis, funny wall art, prime location.

Sober: They play good music and have awesome paintings of Bao puns in rap lyrics.

High: They know how to treat their customers when they’re fucked up. Big ups to the staff for hooking us up with some extras.


Would you choose Drunk, Sober, or High if you had to repeat the adventure?

Drunk: High.

Sober: High – it could have been like “Harold and Kumar” with better food.

High: High. Every time.


Will you ever go to the 14th street IHOP?

Drunk: Haha. I don’t know maybe if they lose the bouncer and get an interior makeover. There’s plenty of better places to go for pancakes in the city though.

Sober: I’ll never go out of my way to go there.

High: Maybe if Baohuas is closed I would consider going to IHOP. But there’s always Vanessa’s Dumplings, Bite, Artichoke Pizza, KFC, Riceton, and that sketchy Mexican place to keep me happy too.


There are plenty more places to visit while fucked up or sober so stay tuned! There might be a filmed version of Drunk Sober High on the horizon.