We recently gave you various suggestions on how to stay away from Facebook during this difficult time (finals). However, when one returns to the land of living, there are some general social rules one should always follow when using The Good Book. Now, this ain’t your mama’s basic social media etiquette, kiddos. We can all use some some common sense and couteousness to maintain decorum (avoid drama) and generally keep things classy.
1. When a friend has tagged you in a status, it is customary to like it, regardless of whether it’s actually funny or not.
2. It is unacceptable to like one’s own status or photo, unless a) one is trying to be ironic, or b) one is trying to look like a self-important douche.
3. If you choose to have a long conversation with one or more persons on a status, be prepared for everyone who liked said status or commented on it in passing to hate you forever.
4. It is impolite to wait more than 24 hours to reply to a wall post or message; if one waits longer than that in order to create the illusion of having a life, keep in mind that no one is buying it (no one else has a life, either).
5. Since Facebook’s founding, poking has evolved from meaning “Hey there, you!” to “I just got a facebook and I’m probably old; aren’t I hip?” Therefore, if one wants to be friendly or flirtatious over Facebook, poking is no longer the best option to attract the attention of your heart’s desire.
6. It is perfectly acceptable to link one’s Facebook account to one’s Tumblr. However, keep in mind that posting 6,000 things a day to Tumblr and thus blowing up all your friends’ news feeds is grounds for de-friending.
7. Remember: your status box is not your therapy couch.
8. It’s only when one doesn’t own up one’s Facebook creeping that one is creepy.
9. Do not reply “Yes” to an Event RSVP unless you are abolsutely 100% positive you will be attending. However, if an event even seems mildly interesting, it is acceptable to reply “Maybe”.
10. Pick and choose your song lyric statuses. Pick and choose.
Don’t forget what Facebook for, friends – to have fun!!! (LOL JK. It was made to stalk your lab partner/future soul-mate.)