It appears that I’ve offended someone. Shocker, I know. Only this time, I’ve offended someone way smarter than me.

Dave Winer, in case you don’t know, is a well-respected Internet scholar and tech pioneer. He’s also very intelligent, and when I say that, I don’t mean perfect-Text-Twist-score intelligent—I mean Harvard-law-school-resident-fellow intelligent. Point being, dude knows what he’s talking about, and it should go without saying that he knows a lot more about tech stuff and Internet theory than I do. I’m not trying to be obsequious; I just wanted to get that out of the way. He’s a smart guy.

So imagine my surprise when he tweeted that my recent Facebook post was ageist:

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I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure the part of my post to which he took offense was this one:

Facebook claims it wants to “simply the user experience,” which I’m pretty sure is the site’s attempt to make things easier for woefully out-of-touch “technologically inexperienced” old people to create Facebook accounts, stalk their children, and create creepy groups that will embarrass said children later in life. (Side note: why do so many old people seem to forget the rules of grammar when they type something instead of writing it? Dad, come on, you know how to use the comma.)

Wakka wakka wakka.

Age and ethnicity aren’t the same thing, and I think there’s a case to be made for Internet usability based on age; cyber-xenophobia, on the other hand, is prejudiced and stupid. It’s not a case of one-to-one word replacement, like, for instance, replacing “gay” with “black/Jewish/whatever” when someone says “That’s so gay!” in a derogatory manner. There’s no sensible justification for claiming that bad stuff is “gay.” There is, however, a sensible justification for claiming that older people in today’s society have more trouble on the Internet than their children and grandchildren.

Because the fact is, “old people” generally have more trouble with using the Internet than younger generations of users, simply because people my age and younger have grown up with these technologies, whereas older users haven’t. Of course “old people” are going to have more trouble online! There are books written specifically to acquaint older users to the Internet. And it’s not just the geriatric set; according to one recent study, for example, more than half of adults 45 and older have increased their risk of identity theft due to sharing too much information online. Emotional oversharing is an (perhaps equally regrettable) emotional risk, but nobody’s going to find out my full address because I talk about my OCD on a blog.

There is also a well-documented streak of parents’ technological confusion. If College Humor isn’t your reliable information source of choice, check out education scholar Marc Prensky’s notions of “digital natives” and “digital immigrants.” There is nothing ageist about this; it’s just a inevitable generational divide. It’s like foreign languages; the younger you learn one, the more your brain’s plasticity will allow you to store knowledge about that language as though it were intuitive. Anyone and everyone can (and should) use the Internet; my point is that older users might take a little longer to learn how.

Obviously, there are plenty of exceptions to this very broad generational “rule.” My maternal grandfather, for instance, is Internet proficient; a longtime oenophile (the “hosts wine tasting reception” kind, not the “drinks boxed wine while driving to pick up another welfare check” kind), he regularly checks wine blogs and uses email to promote upcoming events in which he will be participating. He’s just one example of the growing number of older Americans (“silver surfers,” I’ve heard them called) who can use the Internet instead of being intimidated or overwhelmed by anything online. And it’s not like all children are “better” at using the Internet than their parents; I, for one, still haven’t really figured out Google Wave. (I know, I know, I’m working on it.) I’m sure there are plenty of adults who could help me learn to use it.

All of this is to say: Dave Winer, I’m not ageist. I wouldn’t make fun of a tourist for not knowing “how to get to the train station,” because when I’m a tourist somewhere, I, well, probably need directions to the nearest train station! Of course I do. In that situation, I’m new in town, and requiring help from residents of whatever city I’m visiting is pretty much standard fare for traveling. I would, however, make fun of that train station for putting up a twenty-foot-tall sign reading “THIS IS A TRAIN STATION” in an attempt to make it easier for tourists to catch their train. You learn your way not by being catered to but by making mistakes and developing proficiency. Facebook hasn’t even “catered” to anyone with its most recent set of changes, but why else would they move the search box?

I’d try to answer that question but I think I’ve said enough. Besides, my grandma’s asking me how to send a check to that nice Nigerian prince who emailed her last week, and there won’t be any birthday money if she deposits all her pension money into his royal account.

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