Do you want your dates to think you’re classy and impressive based solely on the high-society-esque, semi-pretentious events to which you take them?  Don’t want to have to back it up by actually talking?  Never fear, that’s why movies were invented!  Not just any movies; no, we’re talking about “aht” and “filums” and all that good stuff Immortel ad vitam download.  Here’s a round-up of some upcoming “refined, cultural movie events,”  ranging from the very “dense” work of Ingmar Bergman to light physical-comedy!  All this, and you can even check out the first female director ever.  Indubitably!

If you’re a woman, date people who are women, or if you think women are pretty cool, you might have a burning desire in your soul to give some “props” to the first female director ever, Alice Guy Blaché.  If you don’t fall into those categories, it may still warm the black hole where your soul used to be to check something like that out, but how can you do such a thing?  Well fortunately for you, The Whitney just opened up a “comprehensive” retrospective of her 130 remaining [Editor's note: !!] films.  Only about 800 were destroyed over time due to such poor archiving techniques as throwing films in the garbage, so you know…no big deal.  If you’re interested in learning about her, you might want to head on over to Cantor for the free symposium that’s going on there this Saturday (November 14th).  Assuming I didn’t lose you when I said the word “symposium,” you can also see some of the actual films on December 4th at the Whitney, and it’s a pay-what-you-want-which-we-all-know-means-nothing event, so rejoice in the landmarks of gender equality and film history!  If that’s not worth some kind of cultural superiority, then what’s this all been about, amirite?

November 18th: Milos Forman, the Czech director who made One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Amadeus, is going to actually be present at BAM for the North American premiere of A Well Paid Walk, and then he’s going to do a Q&A afterward!  It doesn’t cost any more than a regular movie, and it’s the filmed version of a 60′s “comical jazz opera,” which sounds kind of awesome.  There aren’t any subtitles on this clip, but even without the subtitles, it looks pretty ridiculous. Check it out at BAM, 6:30pm on the 18th. Does the “I saw a famous person” factor really make it worth going to? [Editor's note: yes, it does.]

November 24th to December 6th: Also at BAM this month is a repertory of the legendary (and extremely attractive) Swedish Actress Liv Ullmann’s greatest performances, and anyone who’s as much of a film nerd as I am knows what that means: Ingmar Bergman-gasm!  He directed most of her greatest performances, as evidenced by BAM’s film schedule.  I don’t mean to be a fanboi, but Bergman films are some of the greatest movies ever made.  If you’re into fantastic movies, or if you’re just angsty, you should take a large wad of money and hit BAM up four or five times while they’re showing.  

November 20th to December 3rd: Finally, if you’re tired of fancy-schmancy artsy films, you can head over to Film Forum and see Jacques Tati’s Mr. Hulot’s Holiday for some classic physical comedy from the fifties. See? You can still go see a classic movie, but not have to process any thoughts or have a complex talk about the film afterward!  Just be sure to use the French name (Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot) when referring to the movie, as your date will think more highly of you for it.