If it’s Halloween, it must be Saw. Really? Must it? Couldn’t it be something else every once in awhile? Not this year, apparently. If you’re an attentive pedestrian, you’ve probably already noticed all the neat little posters making the roman numeral VI out of a soon-to-be mutilated prisoner, and if you don’t know what that means, then you’ve probably never seen a Saw poster in your life. On Friday (which is NOT Halloween) we’re all being treated to the highly anticipated sixth entry in the Academy Award winning Saw series. I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten to that point where even the 13-year-old Saw Fanboys have admitted the series is just about dead (even though Saw 7 in 3D has already been greenlit), but why should we just get rid of such a groundbreaking franchise?

So hello, NYU. I want to play a little game. It’s high time for your innovative minds to rally together and find a use for Saw. Some experts have thought of taking the crossover route, but why not go all the way with this sick perversion of a Rube Goldberg project and make it into a reality show hosted in the dark dungeons of Bobst? I don’t know about you guys, but I’d be pretty psyched to watch America’s Next Top Horrible Mutilation.

Think of the drama that might ensue when Mike has to bite off Debbie’s arm when he’s clearly been flirting with Susan all week. Debbie cheekily announces to Susan as Debbie starts to go weak from blood-loss, “I’m not here to make FRIENDS; I’m here to..oh God, why am I here?” Then, when you’re looking at the cover of People while you’re waiting for the 6 train to arrive, you’ll easily be able to recognize Reality “stars” based solely upon which limbs they’ve had amputated.

Personally, the best option I’ve heard to far is to take the Saw series where all the best ideas go, while simultaneously tapping into a major market Saw hasn’t been able to rope in yet: small children. That’s right, we’re talking about Saw: The Animated Series. Why mess with the success of this method, which has worked so fantastically well on other movies? There’s potential for it to be educational as well. “Today’s show was brought to you by the number two!” So, fellow students, any ideas? You have two minutes until your computer automatically begins playing Creed. Make your choice.