Halloween is almost upon us, and the well of costume ideas overfloweth with things both wondrous and lame. Here at NYU Local, we decided to compile a list of timely costume ideas for the creatively challenged. Culled from this year’s news, we’ve come up with a few options that are acceptable, and some that are decidedly lame. These are all obviously subjective, so we welcome arguments and addendums in the comments. Behold the results:

THE GOOD

1. The Fail Whale

Twitter grew so tremendously popular this year that even Bobst decided to get in on the clusterfuck. Unfortunately, it seems as if the shoddy servers that manage the site are continuously unprepared for the barrage of fake Kanye West death rumors and #shecutebut tags. Twitter handles this the way some handle their parents’ anger over an exorbitant credit card bill: by shrinking away into soft-spoken cuteness. Enter the adorably angering fail whale. I don’t know how you’d pull this costume off, but, as with most costumes, you could probably do it with a little help from some poster board and sharpies.

2. Captain Chelsy “Sully” Sullenberger

Halloween is probably the only chance you have to dress up like a super hero, but the heroes of Marvel comics are sad and tired ideas that need much improvement (sidenote: yeah, I’m being Wonder Woman). So how about you dress up as a real life super hero? Captain Sully singlehandedly saved an entire airplane full of people from crashing tragically into the Hudson River with his impressive flying prowess. All you need for this is a white mustache, an airplane captain’s uniform and probably a name tag.

3. Billy Mays

There were a host of shocking celebrity deaths this year, and what better way to pay tribute than with a Halloween costume? Celebrity salesman Billy Mays passed on in June, but his OxiClean legacy lives on. This costume is simple: a black beard, a button down shirt, a box of OxiClean, and an unnecessary affinity for shouting are all you need.

4. Sue Sylvester

Arguably the most hilarious character on Fox’s hit comedy Glee, anyone who dresses in a track suit and refers to passersby as their cultural stereotypes (”Gay kid! Wheels! Asian! Other Asian!”) is a winner in my book. And, lest you forget, Sue Sylvester is a motherfucking winner.

5. Anonymous Internet Commenter

Nothing inspires the ire of bloggers quite like douchey anonymous commenters, but translated IRL it automatically becomes hilarious (at least to internet geeks). Dress in a stained “People like you are why people like me need medication” Hop Topic t-shirt and tapered jeans. Powder your skin so it looks like you haven’t stepped out of your parents’ basement in quite some time. Go around telling people that they are assholes who deserve to die because of their 1) liberal bias, 2) differing opinion, 3) adorable pictures of puppies. Or just run around shouting “FIRST!!!1″

THE LAME

1. Balloon Boy

It’s unfortunate this incident had to occur in October, because now Local Editor in Chief Lily Q is responsible for mouthpunching every single person who dresses up in a gray spray painted garbage bag. The Falcon Heene meme is officially dead, so please, nobody rehash it if you want to keep all of your teeth–even if somebody took the time to create a pre-made balloon boy costume kit.

2. Nobel Prize-Winning Obama

It’s kind of true that Obama wins everything, but please, we get it.

3. Michael Jackson

As I said earlier, dressing up as your favorite dead celebrity this year is a lovely way to pay tribute. Dressing up as Michael Jackson, however, will probably garner you one of two predictable responses: 1) Disdain that verges on violence from hardcore MJ fans who disagree that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and 2) A nonchalant shrug from everyone else who has already seen a million MJ costumes crop up these past 25 years.

4. Bernie Madoff

Hookers and cocaine! If you dress up as Madoff you’re probably a douchebag anyway, so what the hell do I care?

5. Glenn Beck

If imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, please do your best to avoid flattering this nutjob. This screenshot kind of says it all: