For this week’s recap of Gossip Girl, I decided to play a little game. A drinking game, if you will. Every time they said NYU I took a drink. Additionally, every time NYU was wildly misrepresented I took another drink. I started to get a little confused (and a little drunker) halfway through the game because I didn’t know if a drink was in order if someone said “here,” referring to NYU. I decided yes, but would not be able to give you an official count. I was also going to drink every time Serena pouted or Dan looked incredulous but surprisingly, neither of them did that once this episode. They were almost off-puttingly… tolerable. Here are the stats:

Times NYU was mentioned: 4
Times “here” was mentioned in replacement of NYU: approximately 10
Times they got NYU wrong wrong wrong: 5
Drunk factor: slightly to moderately buzzed

Misrepresentation Breakdown:

1. What are these luxurious oak headboards that adorn the rooms of Georgina and Vanessa? NYU dorm beds do not have headboards. They have uncomfortable slats. But this is a small detail when the sheer size of their rooms are taken into account.

2. Vanessa would not be able to walk into the (Bursar? Library? Where are they?) and get information on Scott. They obviously wouldn’t give you his academic information but I highly doubt they would give you any information on any student under any circumstances. Also, in my experience, Bursar workers are not sympathetic students whose boyfriend “told me that his father invented battery,” but far more likely to be an old, resentful woman determined to make both her and your life far more miserable than it needs to be.

3. Chuck is smooth. But I’m not sure that he is smooth enough to be able to walk in with an open container of alcohol to Blair’s dorm room. Where is the RA up in this place?

4. If Scott isn’t a student at NYU, how has he been getting into the dorms? Did he fuck someone at the NYU Card Center? Is he paying some poor freshman who is unsuspecting of his devious and subtly makeup-clad ways? Or is he just drop and rolling under the turnstiles? You never know with that crazy Scott.

5. Lets just take one more swig for the sake of the horrendous security here at this alternative universe NYU, where the open alcohol is flowing, students are on the roof and pathological liars who aren’t students can roam freely!

Other Interesting Tidbits of Note:

1. Rufus has actually become a veritable robot. This combined with Scott’s stomach-flipping awkwardness made the whole guitar lesson scene almost too much to bear.

2. I give Jenny and Eric about 5 more episodes before they are written out of the show. One David Bowie joke is not going to save you, my friends.

3. Okay, not that Bree and Nate’s storyline should be given any attention at this point, but Bree’s Dad does not have a Facebook. And even if he did, Bree would not be pleading for his forgiveness on his wall.

4. Was it just me or when Georgina was doing all that detective work on Scott, were you not all reminded of Michelle Trachtenberg’s best and most famous role?

5. Blair’s dress at Sotheby’s looks like she may have purchased it at the same place I used to purchase my gymnastic leotards when I was 7. I liked Serena’s dress but it was so tight that I think I could see her Spanx showing from underneath.

6. Maybe by the end of this season we will find out half of (the inevitably rather boring story of) WHAT HAPPENED IN SANTORINI??? I can’t take the suspense honestly.

Though this episode contained enough thrills, chills, and spills to last me through the week, I absolutely cannot wait for next week. Tyra Banks and Hilary Duff? Yes. Everyone’s gonna break out into a sugary pop dance number and then take baths in jars of bejeweled vaseline as a consolation. Yipee!