Last night’s episode of The Hills, while not as juicy as the season premiere that aired last week, offered a seriously healthy dose of some of my favorite things: public blowouts between Heidi and Spencer, Lauren’s poutface, and lots and lots of Kelly Cutrone.

It’s only natural that Kelly Cutrone would ask Lauren, a low-level intern with almost no real-world experience, to pick candidates for her to interview for a new internship. Of course Lauren suggests Stephanie, Spencer’s methface sister. The interview is the stuff of fantasies: Cutrone completely and mercilessly tears into Stephanie with an animalistic zeal, shooting down her life goals and addressing her only in French when Stephanie clearly has no grasp of the language beyond “Tu parles Francais?” It was painful and uncomfortable to watch, but doesn’t that always make for good TV? Cutrone, an NYU Local hero of sorts, never manages to disappoint. Ultimately, she decides to give Stephanie a chance, deeming her some sort of idiot savant, because that also will make for good TV.

Spencer, meanwhile, flirted some more with that Kim Kardashian-wannabe bartender and Heidi decided to call him out for it in front of everybody in some chic LA bar appropriately titled “H Wood.” But poor, poor Stephanie! This was not her episode. The pretty “homewrecker” Stacie called her a dog because she dared to wear a fur vest! And Heidi called Stacie a slut and Spencer’s sociopath eyes darted back and forth in crazed delight as I opened another bottle of wine.

After the fight, Stephanie kindly suggested Heidi and Spencer seek therapy, like all loving couples in LA, and offered this comforting pearl of wisdom: “Love doesn’t make sense and no one ever said it was easy.” Chicken Soup from Stephanie Pratt’s Meth-Twinged Soul.

Previews for next week look promising: Audrina and Brody will play a game where they rub their bodies together to see if it makes them like each other. Stephanie will also (predictably) manage to fuck up at People’s Revolution; I guess she’s less of a savant and more of an idiot, but most Hills enthusiasts could have told you that.