Entertainment - by Merry M on Wednesday, February 4, 2009 10:32 - 1 Comment - 175 views

Desperately Seeking Scissors and the Male Grooming Dilemma

Frayed download.flickr.com/3144/2888006262_c1ff563b3e.jpg?v=0″ alt=”" width=”343″ height=”228″ />As we introduced last week with a little view from the back end, Local will be running a new weekly sex advice column every Wednesday morning. So if you’re at a job you feel like keeping or would feel bashful if the person next to you in lecture caught a glimpse of the word “penis” on your laptop screen, then browse discreetly. Also keep in mind that for this space to remain active and educational, we need your questions. So don’t be shy—use a phony email address if need be and send us your queries at nyulocaleditor@gmail.com. Without further ado…

Dear sex writer,

So a few days ago my roommates were talking about girls with big bushes and how they like a girl to be properly manicured and I’m sitting on my bed thinking of the episode where Samantha gets her pubes shaved into a lightening bolt. I then tried to make some funny joke about “eating girls out” because it makes my roommates squeamish when I use hetero lingo. I then said, “Yeah, thank god dudes don’t have to deal with that shit” and then they yelled back, “YOU DON’T TRIM?!” I mean, I did a few times in MIDDLE SCHOOL, but that shit got mad itchy. Also, I’d like to say that I have received a fair amount of head and have never heard, “Hi, your pubes are too long.” So, Merry, what is the deal with male (gay or otherwise) pube trimming?

Thanks,

Desperately Seeking Scissors

Well, DSS, I’m quite happy for you that this confusion has not drastically impacted your ability to score a BJ, but we need to have a little talk. I’d have thought that your Sex and the City knowledge would have taught you better.

People generally don’t want to stick their face in long, gnarly hair (that easily traps fluids, litter, discarded newspaper, Starbucks cups, etc.) when they’re doing something as nice and lovely for another as giving oral pleasure (except, of course, for the people who do love burying their face in long gnarly hair, and they’re loved too). Boy pubes, granted, don’t present quite as much of a logistical problem as girl pubes, but that doesn’t mean they go unnoticed. I conducted a very scientific survey on your behalf, and the results say that by far most boys keep it trimmed with scissors. Some guys (straight and gay) even go and get waxed.

I’d say it’s standard to keep your pubes relatively short and under control. If there’s a particular guy in your life, ask him what he thinks. There are probably some in the world who you would make very happy if you got out a razor or some bikini wax, and others who would be perfectly glad to see you with a big man-bush. Neat and trim, though, is the standard of decency—start there.

This is in your personal best interest as well—a really sexy blow job can involve licking in all kinds of places, which would be much, much hotter if he doesn’t have to pause to pull long, curly hairs off his tongue.

All of this advice, by the way, goes for the straight boys too.

Photo by Flickr user Jeremy Brooks used under the Creative Commons



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Cody Brown
Feb 4, 2009 20:51

Where I’m from it’s called a ‘Bald Eagle’.

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