About a week ago the rumor started to circulate that Will Smith and Steven Spielberg would be working together to remake Chan-wook Park’s Oldboy. The internet has been ablaze with groans and pleading, but after sitting on this information and going back through YouTube clips from the film, I have to speak up. This must be stopped.

Spielberg’s Oldboy? Old news, you might say. Maybe I hoped this was all a bad dream. Maybe I was waiting for a statement from Smith refuting these dirty, ugly rumors. “Shit no,” he might say. “I may have starred in Hitch, but I know an untouchable classic when I see one.” We could all benefit from a little humility.

The original film, a beacon of modern South Korean cinema, is a truly unsettling and unforgettable affair. It is not for the faint of heart and frankly, it is not for America. The taboos are many, the violence is gruesome and the wrath of vengeance is necessary. To neuter this work in Hollywood would be a crime against art.

Will, Stevie—wake up.