Enjoy Summertime in New York The Obscure Way

The school year is coming to a close, and the sweet, humid freedom of summer is just over the horizon. And for those of us who refuse to go back to Mom and Dad’s house over the break, the opportunities for entertainment are nearly limitless.

Here’s are a handful of less quotidian things to do this summer in the time you’d usually spend reading NYU Local: 

May 18—Anthropomorphic Bunny Taxidermy Class: If you claim to have never wondered what exactly is the proper way to skin, stuff, and dress a rabbit in Victorian-era clothing, you’re lying. Even better, this class is eco-friendly: all carcasses are recycled discards from the feeder/pet food industry, naturally deceased, or discards from the food service industry. But remember that this course isn’t BYOC (bring your own carcass), so don’t even think about using this as an opportunity to keep the spirit of your dead pet bunny alive.

May 15 through May 31—Shakespeare in the Parking Lot’s Production of Hamlet: A parking lot adjacent to Bryant Park will be the stage in which The Drilling Company’s interpretation of Hamlet will be performed. Modified to reflect contemporary society, Gertrude is an alcoholic, while Claudius is a power-hungry business man. With performances happening Thursday through Sunday until May 31, this is an easy opportunity to get some culture for free.

May 29—McKellen Me Softly: A one-night-only celebration of queer icon and fangirl fodder, Sir Ian McKellen. The festivities will feature a raffle of McKellen-themed artwork, a so-called “geek party,” and a LGBTQ benefit, the proceeds of which will help support Geeks OUT, an organization established to support the growing community of the nerdiest members of the LGBTQ community.

June 14—The Second Annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant: What better way to boost your ego than by drunkenly analyzing tiny wee wees for two hours? This year’s contest will most definitely be quite a show, as the 2013 runner-up, Mr. Rip Van Dinkle, will try once again to win the title.

June 21The Mermaid Parade: There’s glitter, there’s mermaids, there’s probably going to be nudity. What else could you want? The parade down Coney Island’s boardwalk is a celebration of all things aquatic. And, it’s free.

June 24 through June 30 NYC Pride Week: I don’t think I even have to explain this one.

August 2 Harlem’s Sweet Spot FestivalHarlem’s traveling artisan market/dance party will be at the West Harlem Pier this August. The festivities (this year’s theme is “Jamaican Independ- DANCE!!”) are a family friendly way to celebrate Harlem’s rich historical significance and increasingly diverse community…and you can bring your own alcohol.

So this summer, make sure to eat. Drink. Be merry. Stay safe. Enjoy your time away from learning, because before you know it, the stress of finals will be upon us.

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    2 Comments

  1. says

    Correction on Bryant Park/The Drilling Company listing: The Shakespeare performances take place on the park’s Upper Terrace steps near the back of the New York Public Library, and not “a parking lot adjacent to Bryant Park.”

  2. Valencia Reyes says

    I tosed several piles tr,ogether, you’d think it’s hard to cut thr;ough but using the right tools and appl.caitions it’s not so hard not so hard at all.

    makes a nice neat smile

    running by the water and finding a plce that is JustForYou/.

    a frozen smoothie
    fresh
    no dust
    not anymore

    but this is just one gir';l’s opinon!

    -half off,

    Valtoria Repes