Halloween is the ultimate college holiday: It’s about getting drunk, pretending to be someone you’re not, and there’s no expectation for you to have contact with – much less see – your family. It’s also best celebrated when wandering the streets looking like a walking nightmare, not properly dressed for the weather and not totally sure about where you are– sounds like freshman year to me!
However, we here at NYU Local acknowledge that this particular Hallow’s Eve has somewhat of an anxious dark cloud above it’s head. A mere six days after you quietly remove the tights from your boyfriend’s hairy legs while he slumbers into the late hours of the afternoon, we will all (ALL, ya hear me?) be heading to the polls to vote in an election that might make some of us re-think those half-filled-out transfer applications (McGill? University of Toronto? Trinity?).
Of course, regardless of your level of political nervousness, these are still your golden years of indulgence, and we want to help you do it properly. We have some very official endorsements of costumes both to represent your fair university and your party affiliation (although on Halloween, don’t we all just have one party affiliation?).
The 2031 Plan: This one might be a little conceptual, but hear us out. Did you ever play that game “Alien” (or “Human Chain”) as a kid? This works exactly like that. Just wear, like, a plain (perhaps purple?) T-Shirt. Perhaps one that’s exactly your size, if not a little too small for you. Over the course of the night, change into a bigger and bigger and bigger shirt until it’s not clear how one individual student like you can even fit in a shirt so large. While you’re doing this, collect friends along the way. Tag them, grab them by the arm, and don’t let them go. No matter what they’re dressed as, make them wear one of your shirts. “But I was dressed as Batman!” “I know, but isn’t this shirt so much better!?” Do this throughout the evening until a sufficient amount of people prancing about the area are part of your costume (works best if you’re celebrating in Greenwich Village).
A Welcome Week Leader: The best costume you can wear is your smile!
A Sternie: As one of the only NYU grads with a shot in hell at getting a job after graduation, you can dress however the fuck you want.
Chick-Fil-A Kiss-In Protestor: Grab a same-sex partner, some Morningstar Farms nuggets (or a free range chicken raised in a state that’s already passed marriage equality laws, or whatever) and go at it, trick-or-treating at homophobic store fronts across the city (of course, there’s only one that matters).
The Sprouse Twins: If you have a sibling that also goes to NYU, you two can dress up like the Sprouse twins and your friends can all dress up as people not giving a shit about the Sprouse twins.
Our Confused Mascot: A bobcat with a torch in one hand and a bouquet of violets in the other—what does any of this mean?
Joan Torch: With an accompanying fake NYU ID.
Sexy Housie Maguire: As our fellow collegiate journalists have so aptly reported, NYU was recently voted the second university in the nation (by number one progressive all-encompassing indubitably empowering news organization Playboy) for “sex life”—largely thanks to the fact that Housie and his NYU Housing minions “don’t care if you have a member of the opposite sex stay over in your room.” And while Playboy might not care about “homosexual intercourse,” we definitely do! Your sexy Housie can get down with lady Housies or dude Housies, or maybe one of each! We don’t care, just make sure you accessorize accordingly (because Halloween is the only, only, only time of year when it’s okay to wear an ascot).
Stock Photo Dinosaur From NYU Home: Craft some homemade papier-mâché T-Rex arms and a long tail, and become NYU’s weirdest mascot. You have to stand in front of the arch all night though, so be sure to bring snacks.
Bobst Jumper Prevention Fences: Grab four friends and dress in golden, Matrix-inspired grids. Stand in a square all night, forbidding anyone from making any sudden movements or enjoying the atmosphere.
Hayden Girl: You’ll need a short, sparkly dress, bright red lipstick, and dark Ray-Bans you only wear at night. Don’t forget your red solo cup with jungle juice sloshing out of it. See NYULocal’s menu of specialty cocktails for some drinkspiration.
NYU Freshman: You’ll need a few essentials–a 2016 T-shirt, purple lanyard, and a huge backpack. You’ll also have to protect the art of looking scared, excited, tired, and hungover all at the same time. This is also an excuse to get embarrassingly drunk and pass out in the WSP fountain.
Election Season Costumes
Unemployed Big Bird: Sesame Street‘s Big Bird was an early victim of this year’s political debate season. During the first of three presidential debates, Mitt Romney responded to one of moderator Jim Lehrer’s questions saying the following: “I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I’m going to stop other things. I like PBS. I love Big Bird. Actually, I like you, too. But I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for.” As the Internet began reacting to the possibility that our beloved Big Bird could become unemployed, a meme was born. And so, for this year’s Halloween outings, pair a standard Big Bird costume with a coin cup, a ‘help me’ sign and some fingerless gloves — or something along those lines — and bam! You’re witty, relevant and politically aware.
A Binder Full of Women: It was hard to escape Romney’s “binders full of women” quote from the second, town hall-style presidential debate. Responding to a question concerning what he would do for women if elected, Romney told an anecdote about his time as Governor of Massachusetts, claiming he insisted on seeing some female candidates for his cabinet, and in turn he received “binders full of women.” Regardless of the tale’s truth or its crudeness, a binder full of women is a pretty hilarious image. There are many different ways to pull this potential Halloween costume off — you could even do it with friends! — so think creatively, and if you go for it, get ready to be noticed.
Horse-Riding, Bayonet-Toting Romney: This year’s third and final presidential debate, which focused on foreign policy, sparked the most recent hugely popular Election 2012 meme. In response to Romney’s criticism that both the U.S. Navy and the Air Force are currently the smallest they’ve been in decades, Obama snarked, “You mentioned the Navy for example, and that we have fewer ships than we had in 1916. Well Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets.” The Internet ate it up. As a costume, this meme could prove to be pretty difficult to pull off, but with a bit of time, creativity and devotion, it could definitely turn out to be a show-stopper of the night.
Paul Ryan: Fitness Guru: If you’re looking for the Election 2012 Halloween costume that’s easiest to pull off while still being clever and relevant, look no further than Paul Ryan: Fitness Guru. If you don’t recall, right before this year’s vice-presidential debate, Time re-released some photos of the Republican vice-presidential candidate that they’d used for a previous profile of him. The ones that caught the most attention were his corny, hilarious workout photos. This one’s not hard to pull off as a costume: All you need is a red hat, some headphones, workout clothes and perhaps a barbell of sorts. That being said, if you’re dying to be unique, I’d think twice before taking the Ryan route this Halloween.
Obama the Wizard: Remember this insane photograph (that was actually not Photoshopped) of Barack Obama speaking in Iowa’s Bayliss Park from August? To some, it’s terrifying. To others, it’s inspiring. And to even more others, the picture is vindication. Regardless, America was captivated by the concept of a magical Obama. Though America has largely forgotten about this photo, they’ll absolutely appreciate the reminder. Just be sure if you opt for an Obama mask that you don’t come off as one of those crazy, racist murderers from True Blood. Not as relevant, and definitely not as witty.
Etch-a-Sketch Romney: And you thought the presidential race was just getting nasty. Remember way back when, before Romney was the official Republican candidate for president of the U.S., when he was compared to an Etch-A-Sketch toy because of his constant flip-flopping on a number of issues? We do. This Halloween, if you’re feeling both crafty and hyper-critical of Romney, this is the costume for you. As with the binder full of women, the costume is likely to be difficult to execute, but the payoff will be great. Guaranteed.