New York City is renowned for a few things: the Empire State Building, the yellow taxi cab, the Gossip Girl sightings. But most importantly, the city lays claim to the best bagels known to man. Anywhere in the world, there will always be at least one guy, standing outside a local breakfast shoppe, lamenting, “this is no New York bagel.” And because breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially for the bright young minds here at NYU, here’s a primer student uninformed in this hole-y delicacy.

This bread listicle is brought to you by the poetic structure of Haiku. According to a scientific study I just made up, a person learns better if the information is presented in a poem. I’m just looking out for your brain:

Russ and Daughters (179 E. Houston St.)
Come for the bagels,
stay for the lox (that’s smoked
salmon, Christians)

Bagel Bob’s Campus Corporation (51 University Pl.)
Fast prep and only four
blocks from Wash Square Park. Never
starve in class again

H&H Bagels (Upper West Side — 2239 Broadway)
Kramer’s twelve year strike
Doesn’t apply to you.
West Side, represent.

The Bagel Hole (Brooklyn — 400 7th Ave.)
Not in Manhattan
in the morning? Check Brooklyn’s
breakfast shop of choice.

Absolute Bagels (Upper West Side — 2788 Broadway)
Columbia kids
eat here in between drug
raids. Now, you can too!

Dunkin’ Donuts (210 E. 14th St., next to the University Hall dorm)
Perks of living in
housing: bacon, egg, and cheese
in your pajamas.

Think Coffee (248 Mercer St., 1 Bleecker St., 123 4th Ave.)
Cute hipster chicks get
extra peanut butter on
their round breakfast bread

(Image via)