It’s a sad day for girlfriends and wives across the country: the 2009 NFL season kicks off tonight at 8:30 p.m Contract the download. (Tennessee Titans vs. Pittsburgh Steelers), which means you should avoid all streets that include men and bars.

Although we don’t have a football team here at NYU, we do have the choice of two NFL teams in New York to root for. Hell, two seasons ago it even paid off when the Giants won the Superbowl. And if you don’t even watch sports (“C’mon, this is NYU, we don’t watch sports”), at least you can pretend to know something about football.  I mean, there’s a few frat boys out there, right?

Anyways, here’s a preview of the Giants and Jets seasons ahead, just in case “Big Fan” Patton Oswalt was enough:

New York Giants

Only two seasons removed from a championship, the Giants become corrupted with scandal, drugs, violence, etc. Well okay, so star receiver Plaxico Burress just shot himself once in the leg at a nightclub last year, but the way the media talks about the Giants, you would’ve thought the entire team was literally shooting themselves in the foot.

It’s actually quite the opposite: only Burress is going to jail and the Giants may very well go to another Superbowl. Quarterback Eli Manning and running back Brandon Jacobs lead an ungaudy, yet effective offense. Just like the championship squad in 2007, the Giants will remain a defensive stalwart despite the departure of renowned defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. Defensive end Osi Umenyiora (sound it out) is back from injury and prepared to lead possibly the NFL’s best defensive line.

In addition, with a few promising starlets (Hakeem Nicks, Kenny Phillips), the Giants still might be playing come Superbowl Sunday. Yet another reason to go to your 8 a.m. recitation still intoxicated.

New York Jets

It’s another season of hope and change for the Jets, who disappointed their long bereaved fans last season after signing 90-year old quarterback Brett Favre. The high-profile newcomers this time are mastermind coach Rex Ryan and quarterback Mark Sanchez, the 22-year-old hottie from USC that you have a man-crush on.

Unfortunately, despite the sexy additions to the Jets, a franchise that has barely seen success for decades, this season looks to be another butterface. Sanchez is talented, but inexperienced and lacks a playoff-worthy surrounding cast. While Ryan should improve the Jets’ young defense, his roster won’t exactly scare the crap out of, say, Tom Brady.  Nonetheless, with their new A-Rod-esque quarterback, at least expect some entertaining headlines from the New York Post every Monday.