1) The Blue Owl is a pretty badass spot. The only problem is that people our age don’t know it yet. First of all, it’s kind of hidden; it’s in the basement and there is no visible sign of it from the street - that is, if you don’t consider a 30 foot blue owl painted on the adjacent building a sign. I know I didn’t.

Once I found the not-so-secret stairs and made my way down to the entrance, I couldn’t help but blurt out to the bouncer, “Why does everyone inside look so elderly?” Alas, here lies the problem. The drinks are reasonably priced. The decor is kind of swanky - not that decor really matters when you’re trying to get down. The music is outstanding. The DJ spins nothing but old-school hip-hop - none of this T-Pain bullshit that has been plaguing my ears for the past few months. But, the people are slightly overage. By that I mean it’s a 30-something crowd, which is a crowd that does NOT like college kids. So you can either brave it and deal with the retirees, or bring an entourage and
swarm the place.

196 2nd Avenue b/w 12th and 13th.

1) While on my everlasting journey to find a bar with VERY cheap drinks, I ended up finding something much more valuable. At the Blue and Gold Tavern, I actually found straight men - albeit the fratty, sort of douchebaggy but good-looking type. I should’ve figured they would be at this sort of grimy, $2 shot dive bar. This place is a dirty little gem. Drinks specials all night. The Dirty Hipster consists of a shot of Jager and a PBR, for $5. Mixed drinks are $3. And the pool table is where it all goes down. The men all stand around the table, anxiously awaiting a chance to prove their masculinity. This is the perfect opportunity for all of Beyonce’s “single ladies” to pounce. As my grandma used to say, you gotta get them when they’re vulnerable.

79 E. 7th Street (by 1st Ave).