Will Pulos · NYU Local

How I Survived the NYU “Tantric Sex” Workshop

October 26th, 2009 by Will Pulos

Theres something about mary download.jpg” alt=”IMG_0926″ width=”320″ height=”240″ />The first thing announced at the tantric sex workshop hosted by NYU’s LGBT center last Thursday was that it was not, in fact, as “hands on” as the posting had promised. One person walked out. The 39 or so students left had an hour and a half of suggestive dialogue, body exploration, and heavy breathing to look forward to. Basically, the soft-core porn of on-campus events.

The workshop was led by visiting “sexuality educator” Amy Jo Goddard who said she had been teaching sexuality for the last 15 years. I don’t know what happened before then, but I guess students just found a way of teaching themselves. Goddard started off with us all going around, and saying the one thing that makes us feel “juicy.” A student before me said “uncircumcised penises,” I said “Betty Crocker Warm Delights,” and things only got steamier from there.

After we were all feeling properly juiced, Goddard treated us to some relationship advice. Guilt is a useless emotion, she said. It’s one of the many things, along with work and dealing with our parents, that inhibits our personal pleasure. At this point, I felt pretty far ahead of the rest of the class as I’d learned most of this from reading Cathy comics. Goddard then drew an imaginary line on the ground and described the fear many of us have of stepping over that “line” in our relationships. Instead, we engage in the usual “dance” around it. Somehow we had gone from Cathy to A Chorus Line, but I was still pretty sure I was following her.
Read more…

Video Feature

Dispiriting Costumes at Spirit Halloween

October 19th, 2009 by Will Pulos

Spirit Halloween from NYU Local on Vimeo.

Something wicked this way comes. That growing chill you’ve been feeling over the last few weeks hasn’t just been the weather. Once again, NYU’s drunk aunt of a Halloween store has opened her doors for business, and she comes bearing her usual slutty/sassy gifts. I went over to 4th and Lafayette this weekend to survey the damage, and recorded the following video so that my story could be told. Also, I used a mic from the journalism department. Hope this doesn’t mean I am going to lose my deposit.

Theatre

Skirball’s Othello Director Tries to Fill Empty Seats at Crappy Show

October 1st, 2009 by Will Pulos

Othello1650 Apparently, sitting through the current production of Othello at the Skirball Center is worse than getting smothered Eddie and the cruisers ii eddie lives download. Ben Brantley’s review of Peter Sellars’ recent mounting described it as “exasperatingly misconceived,” and I’ve only heard from one person who managed to sit through the entire show. He’d announced this particular feat with an air of disappointed triumph that one might use after finishing the last page of a Mitch Albom novel. “Oh, yeah, I stayed till the end. All the way till the end.” He’d made it, but was it worth it?

I decided to find out if the reactions to the show were really that negative, and walked over to the theater around intermission last night. The scene was, in fact, pretty brutal. I basically haven’t seen a theatrical exodus that large since sitting through a community theater production of Clue: The Musical in Northern Michigan. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone, but the handicapped Eastern European with a stutter did it.

How to Get Deep Throat in Bobst

September 25th, 2009 by Will Pulos

House of wax download.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/1-150×150.png” alt=”-1″ title=”-1″ width=”150″ height=”150″ class=”alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-14892″ />

The Avery Fisher center in Bobst Library has 68,000 music and spoken word recordings, 24,000 video recordings, and one hot, hot piece of recorded sex. That’s right: the Fisher’s got a copy of “Deep Throat” (subtitle: “How far does a girl have to go to untangle her tingle?”).

How far indeed.

I’m a little surprised as to why this audio-visual gem isn’t kept in the “Treasures of New York University” shadow gallery, but I guess it’s reassuring enough that it’s currently “On Shelf” just one floor up.

Kind of gives new meaning to those personal viewing stations, doesn’t it? I guess we’re getting our money’s worth (by the way, the call number is DVD 11344 for all of you academically curious readers). But seriously, does anyone think that this is a worthy addition to the collection of knowledge at our great University? Personally, I think it makes our Private Institution in the Public Service seem a bit more like a Public one in the Private Service.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Photo by Flickr user Uncinefilo used and modified under a Creative Commons license.

NYU BS

The 10 Biggest Lies NYU Ambassadors Tell

September 24th, 2009 by Will Pulos

n115279496838_1445

Will Pulos’ Confessions of An NYU Admissions Ambassador post was attacked by a group of incredibly gung-ho admissions ambassadors last week Jesse stone night passage download. The beat down was vicious and riddled with cliches about friendship. This week, Will defends his stance further.

Even though the “living document” that was once my NYU admissions ambassador handbook has died (RIP), I was still able to leaf through its recently deceased pages and find the 10 biggest lies of that shining program on a hill. (Clearly, certain ambassadors’ recent description of me as “embittered” and “crass” is quite accurate.)

Ambassadors are told to tell their personal NYU stories on their tours. This story, however, can’t include “parties, drinking, illegal drug use, student suicides, or celebrity gossip. These things should never be discussed.” I got nothing.
One of the areas you are told to cover is the size of the University. One suggested statement: “It doesn’t feel as big as it is because of res halls, clubs, and academic programs.” Sure. My Murder She Wrote fan club basically makes me feel like I’m living in a co-op at Vassar. Read more…

NYU BS

Confessions of a Former NYU Admissions Ambassador

September 16th, 2009 by Will Pulos

As other colleges adjust to the times with hip, progressive campus recruiting, NYU is sticking to its guns: ambassadors in track jackets Credo download. These trendy tour guides are difficult to miss, but normal students who simply go to class with minimal school spirit rarely hear their (figurative) voice. Thus, NYU Local writer Will Pulos provides his own account of being an NYU admissions ambassador:

Wearing the track jacket of an NYU Admissions Ambassador kind of makes you feel like a post-coital Catholic. There’s a comfortable sense of pleasure in it, but also a confusing undercurrent of uneasiness and regret. I often find myself in a similar emotional state after ordering a midnight snack from Delivery.com. But the main difference between being an Ambassador and eating an order of curly fries is that the former occasionally made me feel greasier.

I don’t know why being an Ambassador made me feel like more of a bureaucratic slut than my other on-campus jobs, but I guess there were some red flags. Perhaps most blatantly, most of the tasks assigned to Ambassadors are, in fact, generally done by professional prostitutes. From standing on street corners for hours, talking to strangers, to being told to “mingle” in a room full of stiff, out-of-towners, I often felt like I should be getting paid $700 an hour rather than $7. Upstein would always be on the table; Downstein would cost a little extra.

Strawberry Fest: Collective Trough Dining for All!

May 1st, 2009 by Will Pulos

Until 4 pm today, NYU is celebrating the end of the year with its annual appropriately fruity clusterfuck between Bobst and Kimmel. I would highly suggest you go if not for the school spirit, then at least for the TON of free food being given away. Also, I’m pretty sure that being in a small, crowded space and eating buffet-style with hundreds of strangers is exactly what the World Health Organization is recommending right now Deep red download.

But seriously. In my short time there I was able to grab a cup full of strawberries (assuming they ran out of champagne), some Twizzlers, Coldstone ice cream, and strawberry sherbet. They make you eat the sherbet straight out of a cup with your mouth. This would probably be degrading if it wasn’t so delicious. Also, they’re giving away what’s advertised as the longest strawberry shortcake in New York. I couldn’t help thinking they could have aimed a little higher, but it still looks incredibly yummy. You’re gonna really have to really want some of this culinary ambrosia though because the line to get a piece is longer than Space Mountain.

Anyway, If I were you I’d head down there, get a strawberry sno-cone, and walk around Washington Square Park with it. I did this, and it turned out to be a better conversation starter than walking a dog AND carrying a baby.

WHY AREN'T YOU PANICKING!?!

The Health Center’s 5 Easy Ways to Deal With a Level 5 Pandemic

April 30th, 2009 by Will Pulos

picture-3 After telling you every thing you needed to know about swine flu, how not to get it, and Click download.com/on-campus/2009/04/28/got-the-swine-flu-party-it-up/” target=”_blank”>pointing you towards an appropriately ironic party, you would have thought NYULocal’s job on reporting the recent swine flu outbreak was over. You would have been wrong. DEAD wrong.

Personally, I’m not that worried about swine flu since I’ve had a zombie apocalypse escape plan in place since fourth grade, which can be easily implemented in case of influenza outbreaks of similar magnitudes. You, however, most likely don’t have an accessible pontoon boat or secret island in the Great Lakes to ease your troubled minds. Luckily, the Student Health Center is here to help you deal with your justified feelings of impending doom. Let’s take a look at their recently published step-by-step guide:

“What To Do If I am Feeling Anxious About Swine Flu.”

Hold the Vodka, and My Clavicle, Student Health Center

April 24th, 2009 by Will Pulos

Godzilla vs megalon download.jpg” alt=”Oooooohhhh Yeah” width=”440″ height=”348″ />

Some of the best activities at NYU involve being rewarded for admitting you’re an alcoholic. Like a strung-out version of the Salem witch trials, you’re offered smoothies/back-rubs/acceptance for simply admitting that you’re something your accusers probably already think you are. Case in point, Wednesday night, while most of you were getting wasted on organic wine for Earth Day, I was celebrating a much more practical holiday, Alcohol Screening Day! The “Stressbusters” put on the event, and were able to effectively bust my stress with only a five-minute backrub and summary of my emotional relationship with champagne. Am I getting what I want from drinking? Apparently, yes. Yes I am! And you can too!

As NYU students, we have a lot to be stressed out about that could lead us to such rewarding disclosure. The thing that’s currently causing me the most stress is overcrowded computer labs. Anyone? I was at the one on Washington Pl. the other day, and they gave me the number one. I slowly realized, with a sinking feeling similar to being lapped in Mariokart, that they were only on number 77. This is a problem that must be solved. But in the meantime, who knew the cure for such feelings of anxiety would be a survey on my bar behavior and a shy undergrad with magic fingers? Read more…

My bad

Will Pulos Apologizes To the Commuter Listserve, Responds to Reader Comments via Video

April 16th, 2009 by Will Pulos

Referring to this post.